1 
Jakob sat at his desk, the desk that had many reports for him to go through, stacks and stacks to be precise, and tried to focus. He failed utterly. He could not blame his working environment. As a brigadier general in the Finnish Army, he had very nice accommodations. His plush leather chair was comfortable, the wooden desk the perfect height for his long legs, an up to date computer set up with dual monitors. The corner office had a nice view of the Helsinki coastline spread out below, and it was nice and quiet, the way he preferred in order to work on tedious paperwork.

He didn’t need to ask himself in depth why he couldn’t concentrate. He knew very well the cause.

Last year, Finland had openly accepted all sexual orientations, legalizing same-sex marriages and inputting LGBTQA discrimination laws into the judicial system. Jakob had about thrown a party, he’d been so excited. Finally, after seventeen years of being in the Army, he could act without jeopardizing his career. Well, theoretically he could. Jakob wasn’t naïve enough to believe that just because the law was there, that people’s opinions had changed too. Still, if something happened, he had the law to now protect him. He could act.

His elation was short lived. At the ripe old age of thirty-five, he had never been on a date. He’d only been kissed once, and not by a man. While he was sure of his sexuality, he had no experience, and honestly no clue how to go about dating another man. Were the rules different? Where did gay men even go to meet other gay men? He really had no idea. He might have the freedom to chase after his happiness, but without the experience and knowledge to go with it, he felt handicapped and terribly afraid he’d just make a fool out of himself.

Dammit, this was so much harder to figure out as an adult versus as a teenager. People expected teenagers to fumble and make mistakes. They didn’t expect it out of a mature man. Because of the last war, Jakob was more recognizable than most generals in a country, too, as the reporters had adored having a young face to plaster all over the papers. If he mis-stepped, he had no doubt it would be all over the tabloids the next morning, if not sooner.

Knowing this, he’d tried hiring a dating coach. Then a second dating coach. Then a third. The last session with the third dating coach had only hammered it in: This was the wrong method. He couldn’t openly tell the coaches: “I’m gay, teach me how to approach another man.” He didn’t trust their discretion to keep that fact to themselves, and he wasn’t ready to come completely out yet. But because he couldn’t be honest with them, they only wanted to teach him how to approach a woman, which wasn’t the information he needed. How much of those techniques could he use with a man? Any of them?

Sighing, he slumped over his desk, head on his folded arms, and breathed. Damn, damn, damn. This wouldn’t work. He either had to come completely out, and face the consequences of that, and then try to date or find a different tactic altogether.

A knock on his door heralded the entrance of his colonel, Gar Linna, looking as upbeat as usual. The man’s energy levels were legendary in the army, as the only time they’d actually seen him tired was after a two day march past the front lines while herding five thousand refugees. He took one look at his half-collapsed superior, blue eyes sharpening, generous mouth pursed in a thoughtful manner. “No luck last night?”

“Does bad luck count?” Jakob sat back up, running a hand roughshod through his pale hair, not caring if it upset it and made him look ridiculous. Gar was one of the few on his staff that was not just a subordinate officer, but a personal friend. They’d been together off and on since the academy, and Jakob had made sure to request him once he’d been promoted.

Since Gar was also one of the two people that knew his orientation, he knew very well what was going on and knew exactly what to ask. “Let me guess. She only wanted to focus on how to approach women.”

“I think she actually wanted to be the woman I approached,” Jakob said dryly.

“Ouch. Double whammy.” Gar came around with the files still in one hand, leaning a hip against the desk so he could speak in a lower tone. “Sir. With all due respect—”

“It always scares me when you start a sentence that way,” Jakob informed him, half-joking but half-serious.

“—I think you need to take a different approach.”

“Yes, Gar, I realize that. I just don’t know what other tactic to try.” Grimacing, he tacked on, “Short of coming out, I should say. And I’m not sure if I’m ready to do that just yet.”

“Understandable, and I think I have an idea that might work.” Gar leaned in a little closer, lowering his tone even further. “There is, in fact, a whole group of men in Finland that know precisely how to approach another man. And you, sir, know someone that can introduce you to those men.”

For a moment, Jakob had no idea what his friend was talking about. Men that knew how to approach other men? A person that could introduce him? What could he possibly be…then it hit him and his jaw dropped before he spluttered, “Wait. You mean escorts?”

“Yes.”

Just as well he was sitting down, otherwise he’d have dropped to the floor by now. “You want me to hire a prostitute.”

“Mäkinen is an acquaintance of yours, isn’t he?” Gar continued, tenor voice deeper than usual as he spoke seriously. “He’d know how to discreetly introduce you to an escort.”

Aatos Mäkinen was known throughout high society circles. He was one of those people that everyone knew, and politely pretended they didn’t know his true business, while using his services discreetly. Jakob had met the man several times at different functions, true enough, but he’d barely said hello in passing. Prostitution itself wasn’t illegal in Finland but organized brothels were and it hadn’t seemed advisable to really stay in the man’s orbit. He’d had no reason to, either.

Until, apparently, now. Or at least Gar seemed to think so.

Jakob was all set to object to this idea, as it was patently absurd, he wasn’t the type of man that could pay for sex. That struck him as wrong on so many levels, he wasn’t even going to contemplate it. And yet…the strategic mind that had made him a brigadier general at thirty-five years old took Gar’s advice and dissected it. Who would know how to discreetly and effectively flirt with a man to get his attention? An escort. Who would know the best spots to go looking for a date? An escort. Who would know the best places to avoid trouble? An escort.

Damn. Gar just might have a point.

Well able to read him after all these years, Gar grinned at him slyly. “See? It’s a good idea, right?”

Rubbing at his jaw with a palm, Jakob admitted slowly, “You might have a point. And Mäkinen is one of the most discreet people I know. He certainly wouldn’t spill the beans.”

“I know how you feel about paying for sex, but you’re not actually hiring an escort for that. You’re just picking the man’s brain and getting his advice. No harm in meeting up somewhere for an amiable chat, right?”

“You’re right,” Jakob agreed. Turning in his chair, he let the idea ruminate in his brain a little longer. He really didn’t see a downside to this. And even if it didn’t work out, if nothing else, he could give some lucky escort a night off. “Alright, I’ll call him. Assuming I can find his—”

Already anticipating this, Gar pulled out a business card from his pocket and handed it over, thick brows arched in amusement.

“Contact information,” Jakob finished wryly. Taking the card, he read it without any surprise. “Gar. Just for my curiosity. How long have you been planning this?”

“Since the disastrous second dating coach?”

Snorting a laugh, Jakob decided to take the help in the spirit that it was meant. “If this works, I’m buying you dinner at any restaurant of your choice.”

Gar pulled a fist towards his hip in a gesture of victory. “I’ll look for something obscenely expensive. Also, these files are for you to review and sign off on. Mostly requests for leave, one medical retirement.”

Jakob didn’t have to deal with many of those, but those that worked directly for him or anyone of a certain high rank needed a superior officer to sign off on such matters, and he took the folder with a nod of understanding. “I’ll get through them today.”

“After you call Mäkinen and set an appointment.”

Making a face, Jakob capitulated. “Yes, yes, after that. You realize that if this goes pear shaped, I’m blaming you.”

“If it goes well, I’ll take all the credit, too,” Gar informed him cheerfully. “But sir, I want you to understand something. When you come out, I don’t think it’s going to be the disaster you expect it to. In fact, I think a lot of people will be really happy about it.”

Jakob didn’t know what to make of this optimistic viewpoint. He’d risen through the ranks of the military by keeping his head down and his orientation to himself. He’d not even told Gar. The man had just figured it out after a decade of serving with him. After seeing what happened to men deemed ‘effeminate’ by officers, he’d not wanted to expose himself to the same harsh bigotry. Now, as a general, he stopped such behavior whenever he could, protecting those in the ranks. But just because he was a general didn’t mean he’d be accepted. And he had no idea what it would do to his career if those in leadership positions around him couldn’t accept it.

Seeing his doubt, Gar pointed out, “The Tandiiran people adore you, sir. And they’re very open about any sexuality.”

“Ah. That’s what you meant.” During the last war, when Russia tried to invade Tandiir, it was Finland that came to their neighbor’s rescue. Finland had always been on good terms with Tandiir, and knowing they didn’t have the manpower to defend themselves against the overpowering force of Russia, hadn’t ignored the plea for help. Part of the reason why he’d risen so quickly through the ranks was because of that war.

Jakob personally led several rescues to pull refugees out of the line of fire, and because of that, he’d met many of the Tandiiran people. They were friendly, passionate, and warm and they’d embraced him into their fold like he’d been born to the country. Jakob visited the Tandiiran Quarter in Helsinki at least once a week to eat there and just bask in the culture.

Gar wasn’t done. “Every time I go into the Tandiiran Quarter, they recognize me and ask about you. About why you’re still single, and can they introduce a nice girl or boy to you, because it’s not good for a man like you to be alone. They really don’t care which sexuality you are.”

Waving this aside, Jakob assured him, “It’s not them I’m worried about. I do believe I could commit murder and everyone in that country would absolve me of it. It’s my own countrymen that won’t accept me.”

“I’m just saying. If it gets to be too much, you can retire and immigrate to Tandiir. They’ll take you with open arms.”

Wistfully, he said, “That does sound like paradise.”

“See? You have options. First, try mine.” Gar pointed to the business card still in his hand. “Call.”

“You’re very bossy for a subordinate officer,” Jakob complained, but obediently picked up the landline phone on his desk, only to immediately think better of it. That would have been bad, to make that call through a system that automatically recorded all calls. He pulled out his cell instead, only to pause again. “Don’t I need a discreet way for the escort to reach me?”

“Create a private email account,” Gar advised, lifting himself free of the desk.

Suspicious, Jakob watched him walk away. “Why are you so comfortable with the ins and outs on this?”

Gar cast him a wink but no answer as he skipped out of the office, closing the door solidly behind him.

Still suspicious, Jakob tapped in the phone number, only to pause. Was he really doing this? Just because Gar said it was a good option? Despite how he felt about coming out right now, Jakob didn’t actually like this route any better than the idea of hiring yet another dating coach he’d be forced to lie to. Gar’s logic was sound, no doubt, but didn’t this tread on the side of being absurd?

Retiring to Tandiir was looking better every minute.
 
 
In the end, desperation sent him to the appointment he’d made for the next afternoon. He’d not been able to think of a better option, and he was so very, very tired of being alone. His morals still demurred at doing this, but he promised himself he’d stay above board. He just needed someone to show him the ropes, and he’d pay for the man’s time. It was fine. It was all fine.

Repeating that like a mantra, he went to Mäkinen’s office in the back of the sauna, escorted there by an employee in white scrubs. The hallway in the back of the brick building was deserted, lit with mellow lighting that gleamed off the dark paneling, which no doubt was meant to be soothing. Jakob rather felt like he was walking through a cave with an uncertain destination at the end. With a nod and smile, the employee left him at the door, returning with soft steps back to the front of the building.

Jakob stopped at the door, hand raised to knock, and abruptly froze. Doubts and worries swarmed over him, paralyzing him in place, a cold sensation sweeping along his nerves hard enough to steal his breath. Damn, why was this more alarming than going to war? He’d much rather have people shooting at him right now.

But as terrifying as this moment was, he knew he had to push through it. He was a thirty-five year old virgin, for crying out loud, it was insane for him to continue like this. If he had any prayer of finding lasting happiness, it meant movement. He could not stay as he was. Even if this method wasn’t exactly ethical, he needed some sort of help. And he swore to himself that he wouldn’t take undue advantage of the situation.

With another breath—too shaky, showing nerves—he forced himself to knock on the door.

“Enter!” a voice called from within.

Another deep breath for courage, then Jakob forced himself to turn the doorknob and walk inside.

Aatos Mäkinen ran the most discreet escort company in all of Finland, illegal though it was. Technically it was a sauna with massage services, as he would be shortly run out of business if he was open about his true occupation, but Jakob wasn’t about to bust the man’s jaw for this. Not when he needed said services.
Mäkinen was a little short, a little round, although impeccably dressed in a three-piece suit and large, clear rimmed glasses perched on his upturned nose. He looked the part of a businessman, which he was, although something about his perpetually ruddy cheeks reminded Jakob of Santa Claus. As Jakob stepped through, Mäkinen automatically rose from behind his laptop, a professional smile on his face that fell away abruptly when he realized just who was in his nicely appointed office. “General Vanlandingham? You honor me, sir.”

He’d made the appointment without sharing his last name, so Mäkinen’s surprise was expected, although he didn’t expect the man to recognize him out of uniform. His pressed white dress shirt and dark slacks were as anonymous as his wardrobe could get. Then again, Mäkinen likely thrived in the industry because he was good at faces. Shaking his head, Jakob stepped forward with a hand outstretched in greeting. This, at least, he knew how to do. “Not at all, Mr. Mäkinen. I’m here for…well. The obvious, but I need something in particular from you.”

He and Mäkinen had run into each other at several functions, so they knew each other, if not well. His blue eyes narrowed, expression shrewd as he gestured Jakob into a leather armchair in front of the desk. “Indeed? I’m surprised a man of your reputation and good looks needs anything from me.”

Jakob took the statement as empty flattery and shrugged as he sank into the chair with a soft whoosh of displaced air. “Thank you, but its partially because of my reputation that I need some help. Mr. Mäkinen, this goes without saying, but I need absolute discretion in regards to this request.”

“Of course,” Mäkinen agreed immediately, sitting as well. “Please, speak freely. I’ll help if I can.”

Taking in a deep breath for his nerves, Jakob absently wished for a shot of whisky. He needed it. He’d rehearsed what to say on the way here but the words jangled and tumbled in his head, and he had to sort them out before he could even try to speak. “Sir. The recent change in laws to allow same-sex partnerships and discrimination protection has given me considerable leeway in my personal life.”

Mäkinen’s eyebrows got lost in his hairline. “Indeed?”

Yes, no one expected the brigadier general of Finland to be gay, did they? Jakob squashed the grim smile that threatened to take over his face. “Yes, well, it gives me the freedom to act, but…I find myself in a predicament. I have the freedom, but not the experience. Frankly, I don’t even know where to begin. Your reputation of discretion drew me to you, but I don’t know if you have the…services I need. Can any of your escorts teach me how to approach another man?”
There was a great deal of sympathy in Mäkinen’s expression as he sat back, hands clasped on the desk. “Surely I’m not the best person to approach with this matter? A dating coach, perhaps?”

Shaking his head, Jakob focused on the far wall, as it was easier to talk to the dark wood paneling than the other man. “I’ve tried that. It was a resounding failure. And I couldn’t rely on their discretion like I can with you, so I couldn’t be frank with them, which just made the situation worse. I’m not naïve enough to think that the discrimination laws will protect my career.”

“Yes, I see.” Mäkinen paused and thought hard, thumbs twirling slowly around each other. “I have no one in house that I think is appropriate for you, to be frank, but there is a man I know that I think would be excellent for this. He’s fully discreet as well, just not a direct employee of mine.”

Jakob nodded understanding, as most escorts in Finland were not actually part of a business, but freelancers.

“If you’ll give me a day to speak with him, and perhaps make arrangements?” Mäkinen paused to see if this was satisfactory.

Unable to believe this had gone so well, Jakob smiled in relief. “Yes, of course, I didn’t expect an immediate answer. Mine’s a rather unusual request.”

“Excellent. How do you prefer that I reach out to you?”

Jakob had created a particular email for this business, just in case, and he handed over a paper with that email address written on it. Mäkinen took it without comment, no doubt used to such arrangements, and gave him another smile that bordered on being professional. “Thank you. I’ll have an answer for you by tomorrow.”

“Thank you very much, Mr. Mäkinen.” Standing, Jakob shook his hand again and left, his stomach still a knot of nerves. Still, he had gotten through the worst of it, and he could only hope that from here on out, this would get easier.

 
2 
 
“Wait,” Tamjir pleaded, hands held up in a staying motion. “Who came to you for help? I’m certain I heard you wrong.”

“You didn’t,” Mäkinen assured him, still looking bug eyed and a little wild. “General Jakob Vanlandingham. Not an hour ago. I came straight to find you.”

“That’s the part where you lost me,” Tamjir admitted, leaning back against the edge of his desk. He’d been between patients when Mäkinen had basically barged in. Tamjir suspected an emergency—Mäkinen basically didn’t come to his clinic for any other reason—but not this. “And you’re not supposed to tell me who your clients are.”

“I’m telling you this under doctor-patient confidentiality,” Mäkinen informed him stiffly.

Rolling his eyes, Tamjir informed him, “You are treading a very thin line right now, but fine, I’ll hear you out and keep this confidential. Why are you talking to me about this?”

“Two reasons. First, I can trust that if nothing else, you’ll keep his secret. You told me yourself that General Vanlandingham helped save your life, and I know how you Tandiirans feel about the man.”

Tamjir really couldn’t fault that. When his home country had been invaded by Russia, it was Finland that had come to their rescue. Partially because they shared borders, partially because they knew that no one else would, and Tandiir had always been good neighbors. Finland was brutal in its retaliation, shoving Russia properly back in its own borders, but it had come at a cost. Tandiir still, after seven years, had many places that were war-torn and it would take a great deal of money and manpower to set them back to rights again. Tens of thousands of refugees had spilled over the border and into Finland during the war. Most of them wouldn’t have made it, except for the actions of one man: General Jakob Vanlandingham. Against all orders and threats, he’d kept the border open and personally escorted more than five thousand Tandiirans safely across into Finland before returning promptly to the battlefield and routing the Russians once and for all.

More than a war hero to his people, Tamjir knew the man personally. He’d served as a translator for him several times during that hectic march across the border, helped as a medic to his men, and so on. It’d been only two weeks, and even that seven years ago, so the General probably didn’t remember the skinny nineteen-year-old Tamjir had been at the time. But Tamjir could never forget him. Tall and muscular, piercing grey eyes, and the solid looks of his countrymen, the general had looked like the poster boy for a recruitment advertisement. Tamjir had an unreasonable crush on him for years. One he’d never fully gotten past, to be honest.

If this man needed help, Tamjir would do his best to give it to him, to repay that debt. Which Mäkinen clearly realized.

Rubbing at his jaw, Tamjir regarded Mäkinen steadily. “Alright. I can’t imagine that very proper man going to an escort for sex. What did he want?”

“Help.” Mäkinen paused to phrase the words carefully. “He told me that with the recent passage of laws regarding same-sex marriage, he finally had the freedom to act.”

Tamjir blinked at him, quite sure that this time his ears really had failed him. “Wait. I think I suddenly forgot how to speak Finnish. Say that again?”

“Your Finnish is impeccable and you heard me right. Our esteemed general is gay.”

Blinking at him, Tamjir was overcome by one giddy, insane thought: Oh if only his nineteen year old self had known this. He totally would have made a play for the man. “Ooookay. He’s gay. And? I doubt he went to you just to confess this.”

Mäkinen dipped his chin, agreeing. “And he’s suddenly found himself unsure on how to proceed. He’s never had the ability to flirt before, or even express interest in a man, not until now. It would have destroyed his career if he had, but with the change in laws, he’s now protected from discrimination. Still, he’s not sure how to go about engaging with men in that way. He wants someone to show him.”

“Surely a dating coach would be…” Tamjir trailed off as Mäkinen shook his head. “I take it you tried that?”

“So has he. He said it was a complete failure. Look, Tamjir, he came to me because while he has the freedom to move, he’s not a fool. He knows very well that people will give him hell if they figure this out, and he wants to at least get his feet under him and figure out the basics of dating a man before he has to deal with the fallout. That’s my take on it, anyway. He needs someone to discreetly show him the ropes.”

That made a great deal of sense, but still, Tamjir’s heart nearly broke for the man. To be in your mid-thirties and never even had a chance to flirt with someone…it was just too sad. “Alright. I now understand the gist of the problem. Why did you come to me?”

Mäkinen looked slightly abashed, his ruddy face redder than usual. “I don’t really have the right personnel for this. We both agree, the general needs a dating coach, not an escort. My boys will take one look at the man and lick him like a popsicle. I don’t really know who to ask, either. Tamjir, who do you know that can discreetly fill this role?”

The edge of his glass desk was biting through the seat of his pants, but Tamjir didn’t move. Suspicions whirled through his brain, and something about Mäkinen’s hopeful look only solidified them. “That’s not what you’re really asking me. You want me to do it, don’t you?”

Mäkinen smiled at him hopefully.

“Oh hell.” Abandoning his perch, Tamjir sank into the other office chair, blindly staring at his sunny yellow walls. The clinic had once been a children’s clinic, and it still had the primary colors on the walls, ones that Tamjir hadn’t gotten around to re-painting. He had every intention of doing so the first year he’d moved in, but, well, life had happened. Maybe before the third year was over, he’d manage to get it done.

And he really was escaping from reality if he were thinking of painting his office again. “Mäkinen, all of your reasons aside, why me?”

“You’re handsome, charming, and hold the man in high esteem,” Mäkinen answered truthfully. “Because you’re a doctor, and gay, you know how to approach this better than anyone else. Tamjir, honestly, would you rather someone else help him?”

No. Hell no, even. All of this was unorthodox in the extreme, granted, but Mäkinen wasn’t asking him to have sex with Vanlandingham. He was asking him to help a very good man figure out how to approach other men and safely date them. That was, in fact, right within Tamjir’s skillset. Not that he really dated all that much, not since establishing his clinic, but still. He knew enough to help coach someone else.

Was he seriously considering pretending to be an escort to help out his country’s savior? Tamjir had once roleplayed with a previous boyfriend that he was an escort, and he’d rather enjoyed it. This wouldn’t be much different, would it? And it’s not like he was doing anything illegal, even, as being a prostitute in Finland was perfectly legal. Not that an exchange of sex would be involved…was he thinking in circles? It certainly felt like it.

He looked at Mäkinen, still sitting there with his hopeful face on, and thought about the consequences if he said no. Mäkinen frankly admitted he didn’t know who else to trust with this. For that matter, despite the fact that he regularly treated escorts, Tamjir didn’t know who to trust with this. Mäkinen was quite correct that any man asked to meet with Jakob Vanlandingham could not be trusted to actually stick with the agenda. Odds were they’d overwhelm the man and send the general scurrying back for cover. This required delicacy.

“I’m crazy,” Tamjir concluded aloud with a sigh.

“Oh good, you do agree.” Mäkinen beamed at him in delight. “He’s got an email set up to communicate with. Here.”

Tamjir took the slip of paper with its handwritten email address on it with a sort of mixed emotional response, part anticipation, part misgiving. This could go wrong in so many ways. “Mäkinen, I know it’s something of a long shot, but what if he remembers me?”

“You were nineteen, a scrawny kid, and you don’t look anything like you do now,” Mäkinen answered forthrightly. “And you were with him sporadically for two weeks seven years ago. You really think he’ll remember you?”

Not able to argue, Tamjir shrugged. “No, likely not. And even if he does, I suppose there won’t be any harm. Alright, I’ll email him. Whatever he pays you, just funnel it toward medical costs for your people, alright?”

“Sure.” Mäkinen gave him a smile before pulling his wide brimmed hat on his head. “And don’t stress. He’s still a nice, polite young man.”

Tamjir eyed him wearily. “Easy for you to say.”

Mäkinen left the office with a jaunty salute and Tamjir thought about cursing him, but in truth, he was rather grateful that Mäkinen thought enough of him, and General Vanlandingham, to go outside the box on this one.

The first time with another man, even if it was as chaste as a cuddle on the couch, should not be with hired companionship. It should be with someone that at least held you in some affection. Tamjir was very firm on this point.

First, he’d look up possible hotels that they could rent a room in, as this meeting needed to be on neutral ground. Then he’d email the general and get his take on where and when. And then…well, and then he got the unenviable task of figuring how to put a man that was likely nervous at ease and teach him the fundamentals of how to date at the same time.

 +
 
For the second time in three days, Jakob found himself outside a door and hovering, not sure if he had the actual courage to go through it. He sometimes missed the times when he was being shot at. Life was easier then.

The hotel door was in a classier area of town, and he hadn’t been the one to order the room, so he knew it was safe to go in. No one would begin to suspect him for being here, or trace a hotel room back to him. Mäkinen swore that the young man he’d arranged for Jakob was also discretion itself and eager to meet him. He wasn’t sure how to take that last part. Jakob wasn’t exactly infamous in Finland—there was only five generals and he was the youngest by far—so people knew of him, certainly. But why would this man be eager to meet him?

Shaking the thought off, Jakob took in another steady breath. He’d carefully worn something non-military tonight. A cashmere white sweater, dark wash jeans, polished brown half-boots to complete the look. He’d let his hair grow a little longer on top, and it was combed back and in place with perhaps too much gel. Even though he knew this wasn’t a date, wasn’t it just respectful to look good for the other person? And doing it had helped steady his nerves. Some. By about five percent.

And now he was just stalling.

Squaring his shoulders, he lifted a hand and firmly knocked.

The door opened three seconds later and whatever composure Jakob had left him in a whoosh of air. The man on the other side was gorgeous, dark hair worn long and tucked behind his ears, the gentle curls complimenting his high cheekbones and golden skin tone. His generous mouth widened in a bright smile, lighting up his expression, and Jakob smiled helplessly back, unable to even fathom doing otherwise.

“You’re here.” The voice was liquid smooth, like a fine Bourbon, and it made Jakob’s mouth go dry. “I’m so glad. Come in, please.”

He did, without any conscious direction to his feet to do so, and shut the door behind him.

“I’m Tam,” his companion introduced himself, “And I know you Finnish have the personal space of a small crater, but we Tandiirans do not like this handshake business. I want to hug you.”

Snorting a laugh, Jakob felt himself relax a notch. “Part of the reason why I’ve always loved your people is that you’re straightforward and affectionate. Please do hug me.” Proving that he was comfortable doing so, he leaned in and gathered up that lean body into a full embrace, enjoying it even though his nerves still rattled. Drawing back, he brushed his cheeks to either side of Tam’s, the traditional greeting when seeing a friend or relative or even someone you just liked.

Tam’s face lit up in reaction, smile infectious. “Aww, you do know how to greet my people well. We adore you too, you know.”

“You Tandiirans act like I saved your country single-handedly,” Jakob retorted, his exasperation tempered by amusement. “I had a lot of help doing that, a whole army, in fact.”

Like every other Tandiiran he’d ever met, Tam just patted him on the chest and responded indulgently, “Yes, I know. But you’re our favorite. Now come, I have wine and cheese and some bread set out. Let’s sit and talk for a while, hmm? And you can tell me if there’s a handsome man that has caught your eye yet.”

Relieved they were starting off easy, Jakob followed him to the living area of the suite. The hotel room was a nice one, with a kitchenette area, bathroom, and a bedroom supposedly further in. It was decorated with soft cream carpets, beautiful landscapes on the walls, and furniture in dark woods. Tam had only turned on two of the lamps in the living room to give them a more mellow glow. He sat on the two seater couch, patting the next cushion for Jakob to join him, which he did. Jakob sat, a little stiff still, although truthfully he felt far more relaxed now that he’d met Tam. Mäkinen’s choice of asking a Tandiiran to be his partner was brilliant as to his knowledge, no Tandiiran wished him ill. Jakob felt more comfortable with a Tandiiran man than he would his own countryman in this setting.

Tam handed him a half-glass of wine, which he took with a murmur of thanks, tasting it in a gentle sip. “That’s quite lovely.”

“I agree. Mäkinen provided the wine, actually. He has excellent taste.” Tam took his own sip before setting the glass aside. An earnest expression on his face, he assured Jakob gently, “He told me a little of why you’re here. First, let me assure you, he did not demand that I come. He explained, and I chose to come, as I did not want any other man with you.”

Jakob blinked at him, head canted in question.

Well able read the question on his face, Tam elaborated, “Because that possible other man, I could not trust that he would treat you with the same respect and affection that I would. I know you, Jakob Vanlandingham. I know that you’re a good man, a sweet man, and for this you deserve not only someone that can respect you, but treat you with affection. I also believe that any other Tandiiran in my place would have jumped you before you could even get your foot through the door, which is not what you need right now,” he added with a lecherous waggle of the eyebrows. “Although I’m not opposed, mind.”

He could just feel the blush taking over his fair skin. “I, um. Okay. Thank you for explaining that.”

Satisfied he had gotten his point across, Tam picked up the wine glass again, taking another sip. “Now, let me explain a few things to you, and see how much you recognize from your own observations. The easiest way to flirt is to hold a man’s eye, lean in a little as he speaks, and truly engage in the conversation. Ask for his name. If he responds in kind, he’s interested.”

Jakob opened his mouth to protest, then froze, closing it again. Come to think of it, he’d seen it when men had done that with women, usually at a bar. It had worked surprisingly well. “I’ve seen that play out several times, usually while out with the men. That really works?”

“If he asks your name, then it’s a cinch,” Tam assured him. “Among my people, its not that simple, but it is in your culture. I have yet to figure out if this works in my favor or not. They don’t expect me to know your dating customs.”

“Even though you’re fluent in Finnish?” Jakob asked doubtfully.

Tam shrugged, a light and easy gesture. “I’ve discovered that if I do this,” he reached over and snagged a bit of cheese, offering it to Jakob, which he hesitantly took from those slender fingers, “then they get the message at that point. Nibbling off someone else’s plate is a positive sign of interest, but also of comfort level.”

That he knew well. And it was rather enjoyable, to have someone else feed him by hand that way. He liked it immensely. Jakob hadn’t realized he favored that until just now, as no one had done that with him before. “Yes, I’ve seen that too. And once I know they’re interested?”

“Your people like to do a movie on a first date,” Tam answered with another shrug. “If that goes well, then you schedule a second one.”

“Yes, but what about…” Oh damn. He really didn’t want to ask this question, it made him seem entirely foolish.

Tam tapped a reproving finger against the tip of his nose. “Stop that. You can ask me anything. In fact, better to ask me than to be caught with your foot in your mouth later.”

“Good point,” Jakob agreed, wincing at the mental picture of fouling this up later on a date. He still had to take a gulp of wine for courage before he could get the question out. “What about the first date, though? Do people assume you’ll sleep with them on the first date?”

“I don’t care what people expect, if I’m not comfortable with that, then I don’t. You shouldn’t be pressured into that either.” Tam’s rich brown eyes studied him thoughtfully. “Your people are not usually so hasty to cross that line, or so has been my experience. It’s customary for a goodnight kiss, though.”

Which would be fine, if Jakob had any idea how to kiss.

“If you’ve not had a chance to flirt, or date,” Tam said slowly, building the path forward carefully with each word spoken, “then have you had a chance to kiss someone?”

“When I was fifteen, a girl in my neighborhood tried for it,” Jakob managed levelly, hand tightening to the point that it threatened the integrity of the glass, “but it was rather a mess, honestly.”

Tam set his glass carefully aside. “Would you care to kiss me?”

“Hell yes,” Jakob breathed before he could check his mouth. Seriously, what was wrong with him? He’d sworn to himself before coming in here that he wouldn’t demand anything physical of the man. He’d sworn to himself not ten minutes ago.

His answer delighted Tam, the man grinning outright at him. Alright, well at least he didn’t seem to mind. Taking his glass out of hand, Tam sat that aside as well, then shifted until he was seated comfortably on Jakob’ thighs. Jakob allowed it, although it felt strange to have someone inside his personal space like this, hands settling uncertainly on Tam’s hips. He really didn’t know where else to put them.

Tam’s hand caught behind his neck, holding him still as he leaned in and gently pressed their lips together. Jakob’s eyes fluttered shut, the sensation foreign but not at all unpleasant. Those soft lips caressed his, teasing his own open, and he groaned in response, attempting to kiss back. Damn, this was quite pleasant, he now understood why people were a bit fixated on it.

Teeth caught his bottom lip, tugged at it gently, and he liked that a lot. When Tam retreated, he tried it in turn, and liked the response he got as Tam kissed him harder. Mmm, yes, this was lovely. He could kiss Tam the rest of the night. Daring to slide his hands up, he tangled one in that fall of dark curls, feeling the silkiness of it and enjoying the texture.

Drawing back, Tam’s mouth was opened a touch as he caught his breath, eyes darker and hungrier than before. “I should warn you, I love having my hair played with.”

“Good,” Jakob responded in a voice he barely recognized as his own. “I like playing with it. I want to keep kissing you.”

“Oh by all means,” Tam breathed, leaning back in. “Don’t let me stop you.”
 
+
 
Tamjir opened his eyes the next morning, convinced that he’d dreamed the evening before because he had not made out with Jakob Vanlandingham in a hotel room like a teenager. Only his mouth felt a little bruised, and he could feel the phantom touches of those calloused fingers tangling in his hair, smoothing over his scalp, and just the memory of that alone got him hard.

Dammit.

The problem with teenage fantasies was that they were supposed to not actually measure up to reality. Which was true in this case, as reality had been better, and Tamjir really had no defense against it because of that. He’d suspected Jakob would be sweet and polite, anyone that knew the man would think that, but he’d also been incredibly voracious and passionate and it had stirred Tamjir up past the point of common sense.

If Jakob had even a bit of experience, Tamjir would have likely seduced the man last night. But Jakob was clearly in uncharted waters the entire time, and Tamjir hadn’t wanted to overwhelm him, instead letting him set the pace. They’d not taken any clothes off, or gone past kissing, and Jakob had been so enamored with holding Tamjir it felt heady just cuddling on the couch.

Tamjir laid in his bed, in his apartment above the clinic, and cursed himself for being an idiot. He’d seen the chance to help his country’s hero, and he’d been naively honored to think he could somehow return the help that he’d been given seven years ago, without really thinking of the consequences. And now he was firmly in lust with the man and his crush had gotten an adrenaline shot after being in Jakob’ arms last night. Dammit. He really could be his own worst enemy sometimes.

Sighing, he threw back the quilt and got out of bed, staggering to his en-suite bathroom. Between them, they’d drank most of the wine last night, and he had a hangover this morning because of it. He left the bathroom lights off, letting the sunlight through his bedroom window illuminate the area, as any artificial lighting would be painful on his eyes. Fumbling out two painkillers, he downed those dry before standing in front of the mirror, arms braced on the edge of the counter. His eyes looked a little bloodshot, his breath tasted foul, and it was just as well that he had time this morning to sort himself out. Flicking the shower on, he let the water heat, brushing his teeth while waiting. He had a full day of patients this morning, though not many in the afternoon. Although he doubled as an emergency clinic for this neighborhood, so who knew what problem would walk in.

He stepped under the hot spray, thoughts running through his head as he shampooed his hair. The general had only requested the one session, and in truth Tamjir had taught him everything he could without doing actual dry runs through various scenarios. He’d also told him the best bars and clubs to go to that would allow him to possibly flirt and pick someone up. That meant the possibility of a second night like last night was close to nil.

Maybe he should have stretched this out a little longer….

Kicking himself for even thinking it, Tamjir rinsed, stepped out, and went about the rest of his morning routine of shaving, getting dressed, and heading for the coffee pot. As he waited for the coffee to percolate, he absently checked his email on his cell phone. Most of it was spam, and he deleted that, working from top to bottom. A few were reminders of bills to pay, and he left those unread to remind himself to actually pay them.

The coffee pot gurgled completion, and he poured himself a cup before dropping two sugar cubes and a dash of cream into it, stirring it with a spoon before absently carrying it to his small kitchenette table, still reading his emails on the phone in his other hand.

Wait, that address…Wasn’t that the one Jakob had used to contact him with? Heart in his throat, he paused dead in the middle of the kitchen and opened the email, not sure what to expect.
 
Tam,
 
First, thank you for such a lovely evening. I was beyond nervous coming to meet you, but you set me at ease so quickly, I barely remembered why I should be nervous in the first place. I’m very glad that you chose to come meet me, selfishly so.
I know its not what we agreed to, but I wonder if you’d meet me again tonight? I feel strangely like I left things half-finished, or maybe I should say that I don’t want to part company with you after a single night. If not, I quite understand, as you only agreed to last night.
Either way you decide, I wanted to say sincere thanks.
 
Jakob
 
Tamjir blindly tried to set the coffee mug down, missed the table completely, and it thudded to the linoleum, spraying hot coffee everywhere. He absently swore as it splashed against his bare toes and he hopped out of the way, but still couldn’t tear his eyes away from the words on his screen. He read it through again, then again, not able to believe his eyes.

Had he suddenly lost the ability to read Finnish properly as well?

When he finally convinced himself that he really was reading that correctly, Tamjir punched a fist into the air in victory. “Yes, hell yes! Are you crazy, you beautiful idiot? Of course I want a repeat of last night! I swear, this man does not understand his own sex appeal. That’s what I’ll teach him tonight, how sexy he is. No. No wait, that’s a bad idea. If he knows, he’ll get the confidence to go prowling for men. Dammit. I’m not ready to give you up yet to other men,” Tamjir informed the screen seriously. “I’m going to seduce you into staying with me a little longer. I have a teenage crush to work out of my system. And I need to teach you safe sex, anyway. I’m doing us both a favor here.”

Yes, he knew that he was being ridiculous. Tamjir lived in a constant state of knowing he was being silly and doing it anyway, so this didn’t make him hesitate.

He sat down at the table and properly typed out a reply that he would love to meet again tonight. He’d find them a different hotel and email him the details. Same time?

Then he forced himself to close the app and not re-read the email until he had it memorized. Knowing he was being silly and indulging the silliness was two different things.

Staring at his spilled coffee, he couldn’t stop the grin spreading across his face. It looked demented, he was sure, and it was just as well no one else was in his apartment to see it. A second night. He got a second night.

As he mopped up the still warm coffee, his only thought was this: How did he make sure that he got a third?

 
3 
 
It was inevitable that Gar meet him at his desk with a coffee cup in hand and an intense, curious expression scrawled all over his face. Jakob took one look at that face and the memory of being with Tam crashed down over him, forcing his cheeks to heat.

“Ohhh?” Eyebrows waggling, Gar playfully demanded, “That good, huh?”

“Shut it,” Jakob grumbled, grabbing the offered coffee cup and holding it with both hands. “You know very well I didn’t demand sex of him.”

“I’d be astonished if you did,” Gar agreed, not at all displeased by this. Perching on the edge of the desk in his usual spot, he leaned in, tone confidential. “But do tell me what happened?”

“We met at a hotel,” Jakob recounted, “and he came prepared with a bottle of wine, some cheese and bread. I barely got inside the room when he informed me that he wasn’t doing a handshake and asked for a hug instead. It was so Tandiiran it made me laugh.”

“Wait, he’s Tandiiran?”

Oops, he hadn’t said that, had he? Jakob’s mind was still a little scrambled from a certain positive email he’d gotten this morning. “Yes. He’s utterly gorgeous. I’m amazed I got anything sensible out last night, as he tied my tongue in knots half the time. Anyway, he was exactly what I needed. He sat me on the couch, talked me through how to approach someone, the basics of dating, and gave me a list of places that were safe to go to.”

“Excellent. So you’re clear on how to approach men now and my plan worked.”

Jakob barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “Yes, and I owe you an expensive dinner somewhere.”

Gar nodded acknowledgement of this but he didn’t seem to care about that at the moment. “And you’re telling me that you just sat chastely on the couch with a gorgeous man who wanted to hug you? Why general, what a pretty blush you have.”

In a quiet voice, Jakob admitted sheepishly, “I might have ended up making out with him.”

Doubling over, Gar laughed, both arms around his stomach.

“Oh, stop,” Jakob demanded of him, although even he had to admit it was ridiculous. “He asked if I wanted to kiss him, and I’m not an idiot, so of course I said yes. Gar, it’s not that funny.”

“And you were so adamant you weren’t going to touch him,” Gar choked out. Wiping a tear from his eye, he tried to get himself back under control. “Ah, priceless. Well, I’m glad it all worked out so well. So, are you going to a club or a bar this weekend, then?”

Did he tell him the full truth of that email he’d sent late last night? Or rather, in the bird hours of this morning, when he couldn’t sleep?

“Sir.” Suspicion clouding his face, Gar repeated, “You are going clubbing this weekend so you can try out all your new skills, correct?”

Jakob tried for a smile and missed, his mouth going crooked. “I asked to meet him again.”

He could not have astonished his friend more. Gar’s mouth dropped open, words utterly beyond him as he made croaking, dying frog sounds.
“I know,” Jakob acknowledged, slumping a little in his chair. “I haven’t changed my mind, I still won’t demand sex of him, its just…he’s so utterly charming. And intelligent. His Finnish is impeccable, and you know our language isn’t easy to learn, but he speaks it flawlessly. I had a wonderful time just talking to him. I felt like it was a waste to not know him better.”

In a rare moment of familiarity on the job, Gar faced him squarely. “Jakob. You know this is a bad idea. Escorts are charming, that’s their job. And since he’s Tandiiran, it only makes things worse for you, as of course he immediately liked you. All Tandiirans immediately like you. You can’t fall for this guy, it’ll be a disaster.”

“I know, and I have no intention of dating him,” Jakob said soothingly. “That really would be a disaster. It’s just, I enjoyed being with him. It won’t hurt to have another night, practice my flirting skills, right?”

Rubbing a hand over his face, Gar sighed. “I’m not going to talk you out of this, am I?”

“It’ll be fine,” Jakob promised. He truly believed it would be. Besides, he hoped that if he knew Tam a little better, he could figure out why the man was wasting his obvious intelligence in this profession. At the very least, he could be a translator. If he needed a good recommendation, Jakob would be quite happy to provide it.

The phone rang, his personal cell phone, and he pulled it free of his back pocket before grimacing.

“Your mother?” Gar guessed.

“Worse, my father.” Resigned already to a rough conversation, he hit accept and put the phone to his ear. “Isä, how are you this morning?”

“Don’t give me that, Jakob. You know I only call you from the office when there’s a problem,” his father’s gruff voice grumbled back at him.

Yes, hence why he hadn’t looked forward to answering this phone call. Gar tiptoed out, quick to escape ground zero before an explosion could occur. Jakob envied his friend the escape even as he kept his voice level and responded, “I suspected as much. What’s the problem?”

“Your mother invited you to dinner last night. Why weren’t you in attendance?”

“Because I had a prior appointment. I told her this.”

“She was very hurt that you chose someone else over her. I got to hear all about it last night and this morning over breakfast.”

Jakob translated ‘hurt’ as ‘screaming’ without difficulty. His mother was very controlling, adamant that she have the power to dictate to her three children what they could and could not do. His older brother and sister had more or less escaped her by marrying people on the far side of the country. He, the youngest, had joined the army to get away from her. Unfortunately, he was now in Helsinki and therefor within his mother’s range once more. She expected him to drop anything and everything when she called and was not happy when he ignored her in favor of doing something else. His father, only wanting peace, expected Jakob to obey her without question.

Why they thought they could order him to do anything was beyond Jakob. He was no longer a child, after all. Even as a teenager he hadn’t obeyed his parents blindly. “Father. When are you going to stop giving in to her every demand?”

“When you’re married, you’ll understand what it means to keep a wife happy.”

Doubtful, considering he’d have a husband instead. Jakob bit that part back. “And what about your children, who are constantly trying to escape her? We don’t get a say in any of this?”

Edvin sighed gustily, put upon. “Why are you arguing this with me? Your mother loves you. Just call her, apologize, and come to dinner tonight.”

Once again, Jakob’s wishes and words were soundly ignored. He’d played this game with his father most of his life, a delicate balancing act of pleasing the other person just enough that he could do as he wished without being constantly hounded. Jakob knew very well that his parents loved him, and he loved them, although being around them for any length of time made him search for escape routes. For the millionth time, he thought of telling his father to screw what his mother wanted. For the millionth time, he chose compromise instead. “You can inform her that I’m not coming to dinner tonight. I have a date.”

There was an audible hiccup on the other end of the line. “A date?”

“Yes, Isä, a date.”

“Anyone we know?”

“I doubt it. My date’s Tandiiran.”

“Ah.” Edvin lost half of his astonishment as this information. “Well, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, all things considered. Still, I’m very pleased, son. You so rarely date.”

His parents were under the impression that the various women he’d escorted to the different political and military functions over the years were his ‘dates.’ Jakob had never told them that, nor had he explained why most of the time, they didn’t see him with those women afterwards. “Yes, well, I rarely meet someone I’m so attracted to. Tam’s very intelligent and charming. Anyway, I have a date tonight.”

“I won’t stop you. Your mother will be thrilled you’re on a date. It’s too soon, I suppose, to bring her along and have dinner with your parents.”

“Far, far too soon,” Jakob agreed, meaning that in every possible way.

“Yes, alright, I understand. I still remember what it’s like to be in the dating scene. Then try for dinner sometime this weekend, alright? Let your mother see you.”

Another compromise, this one easier. “Fine. Sunday?”

“I’ll tell her. Good luck, Jakob.”

“Thank you, Isä.” Jakob hung up the phone and stared at the screen silently for a moment. Before he came out to the world, he’d have to come out to his parents first. Just the idea of it depressed him as he expected that to go over like a lead balloon. His parents were the epitome of conservative. He might not be disinherited over it, but he certainly wouldn’t be welcome anymore. As much as his parents frustrated him, he didn’t want to be cut off from them, either.

Sighing, he put the phone off to the side of the desk and pulled up the email from Tam again to read through it. That instantly put a smile back on his face, as he could hear the man’s voice in his ear as he read the words. Tam had the sort of voice that could read the phone book and he would still pay for the privilege of listening to it. Oh, that was another good thought. Maybe he could be an audiobook narrator.

As he looked, a notification popped up on screen announcing another message. He clicked on it, happy to see that Tam had reserved another place for them. When he checked the address, it wasn’t a hotel, interestingly enough, but a house. Copying the address, he did a general search, and found that it was listed as an Air BnB. Oh? Well, that was fine, too.

Filled with anticipation for that night, Jakob forced himself to exit out of the email client and got back to work.

+

That same sense of anticipation set his nerves alight as he drove away from work that evening. He absolutely refused to show up at the door while still in uniform. His apartment was nearby, and he had enough time to change and go to Tam’s rented house, even if the traffic turned for the worse.
The weather was chilling rapidly as they approached fall. During the day it was still warm enough for short sleeves, but as the sun set, so did the temperature. August in Finland could be hit and miss for nice weather, so he enjoyed it while it lasted.

His apartment was quiet and still as usual as he entered. He’d bought it three years previous, mostly because it overlooked the sea, and it had enough space for him as it was a two bedroom with a sensible layout. The developer of the building painted everything white, which he changed slowly, wanting some color in his home. But the pale wooden floors he left alone, and his furniture was either light grey or white to avoid cluttering the space. Jakob admitted to himself that he might have focused too much on decorating his apartment just because he was bored and at loose ends after work. Still, it turned out nice, so he couldn’t complain.

Stepping into his bedroom, he shed the uniform and either hung things up or tossed them into the laundry, depending. He rifled through his closet, aware that he only had ten minutes to get dressed, the clock mentally ticking. Everything either looked far too informal or incredibly formal at first glance. It took some rifling to find something more appropriate for tonight.

He went with a dark blue dress shirt that his sister had reliably informed him did amazing things with his eyes, and a thin black jacket over it. Pleased with the effect against his black jeans, he threw on shoes and then headed right back out, his little white sportscar revving like a purring panther as he started the engine.

This was crazy, he knew that even as he drove through the wide streets, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. Part of the reason why he’d not had any trouble hiding his orientation for so many years was that he was gray-sexual. Jakob rarely met anyone that sparked his libido and even then, it was usually at such a low level that he could easily ignore it. Tam was the first person in nearly a decade that drew his interest.

So was it sane, going on a second date with an escort? Likely not. But the idea of ignoring this tantalizing connection, so rarely felt, left a sour taste in Jakob’s mouth. It didn’t hurt anything to enjoy the man’s company.

He kept assuring himself of this even as he deviated by the Tandiiran Quarter and stopped by his favorite bakery to pick up some dessert. He said it again as he followed his phone’s GPS to the rental house on the shoreline. The cute cottage had lights on inside, and as he stepped out of his little white Raceabout, Jakob took in a breath to steady his nerves. He locked the sportscar with his key fob automatically, even as his head swam. Was this a good idea, really? His heart said yes, his mind screeched warnings.

Just to talk, he told himself again. Yes, Tam was entirely sexy and charming, but they didn’t have to take this any further. It was enough to be able to flirt with that sexy, charming man.

With that promise firmly in mind, he knocked on the door.

Tam opened it within seconds, a bright smile of welcome on his face. He wore a dark red turtleneck that complimented his golden skin and dark hair perfectly, making Jakob temporarily forget all about his promise to keep his hands to himself. He was in bare feet again, the hem of his dark jeans barely brushing the tops of it. Snagging him, he drew Jakob immediately in, with Jakob kicking the door shut behind him.
“You’re always so punctual,” Tam greeted, voice husky with approval.

“It’s rude to be otherwise,” Jakob responded.

Rising up on tiptoes, Tam put both arms around his neck, greeting him with a brush against either cheek with his own. Jakob expected that. What he didn’t expect was the soft, not at all shy kiss that Tam gave him, his lips lingering in a tantalizing way. It made whatever blood he had go directly south. It took conscious effort to not latch onto Tam as he drew back an inch, whispering against his mouth, “Hello.”

“Hi,” Jakob whispered back, feeling a little heady from the kiss and happy about it. Damn, this man’s voice got to him every time. “What is that delicious smell?”

“Chupatah,” Tam answered, with another quick kiss, then he dropped back onto his heels. “You know what that is?”

“I do, and love it.” Lifting the plastic bag still in his hand, he offered, “Dessert?”

“Yes, please. And from Red Bakery. I see you know that too.” Tam took it from his hand and opened the red box inside to take a peek. “Kashmiri naan, excellent.”

“They make the best,” Jakob agreed without hesitation. “Well, they make everything the best. I’ve never found a better bakery.”

“That’s because it does not exist,” Tam agreed in perfect concordance. “Come, sit. I think the chupatah needs another few minutes.”

Jakob walked through the charming cottage, with its light green walls, dark wooden floors and white furniture, appreciating the care that had gone into what must have been a recent renovation. Then he belatedly realized that there were two pots on the stove and what Tam’s comments must mean. “Wait, you’re not just heating that up, you made it?”

“Well, yes,” Tam agreed with a quick smile over his shoulder. “Chupatah is hard to find in the city. It’s a home dish, its not something you generally find in restaurants.”

Tam was actually cooking for him? Jakob felt his heart, already out of control, go a little further in the wrong direction. “Believe me, I know. I got introduced to it in the war and have had the devil of a time finding it since. There’s this one restaurant, the Lantern, the cook there is a friend of mine. She sometimes takes pity and makes me a pot of it. I bring it into work just to torment my staff.”

Chuckling, Tam put the naan on the bar before checking both of his pots. “How evil of you. They don’t try to steal it?”

“I’ve had to threaten court martial a few times,” Jakob responded lightly. “But I’m not willing to share. Truly, Tam, you didn’t have to cook. I’m not complaining, mind you, but you’ve surprised me.”

“I hate cooking for myself,” Tam informed him, stepping in closer to wrap both hands around Jakob’s waist. “But I’m perfectly content to cook for someone else. I was in the mood for chupatah. You’ll help me eat it, won’t you?”

“You know, I think that’s the first stupid question you’ve asked me?”

Tam grinned at him, leaning in to snuggle.

Jakob knew very well that the Tandiirans didn’t really understand the concept of personal space. If they liked you, they were right up against you, and they were incredibly physically affectionate. He tried not to read too much into Tam’s behavior, he really did, but it was a half-lost cause even before his own arms rose to hold the man firmly against him.

God, he felt good. He smelled even better, like spices and male. There was a hint of citrus from his hair, and without thinking, Jakob turned his face into it, breathing in deeply.

“Jakob. Are you sniffing me?” Tam asked in amusement.

A little guiltily, he defended, “You smell amazing. Good enough to eat.”

“If you say such things to me,” Tam murmured, drawing back and the look in his eyes spoke of pure hunger that had nothing to do with food, “then I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

Jakob might have managed to respond to that, somehow, but Tam didn’t give him the chance. His mouth was taken in a kiss that was unlike any other they’d shared before. Hungrier, more demanding, with tongues battling for dominance and teeth scraping against his bottom lip. Jakob tried to give back as good as he got, feeling a little ravaged, pleasantly so. They broke to breathe, panting for air, and Jakob desperately tried to get the lower half of his body to understand that things really couldn’t go any further.

Drawing back, Tam barely flicked his eyes to the stove before turning both knobs off. There was a certain deliberation in his movements and Jakob had to swallow, hard, around the dry anticipation in his mouth. A slender hand grabbed his, pulling him away from the bar and to the wide couch in the living room, drawing him toward it without any hint of hesitation.

A foot from the couch, Jakob remembered every promise he made to himself and he dug in his heels. The smaller, lighter man wouldn’t be able to budge him if he really planted himself and held firm. He just had to somehow come up with the conviction to hold firm. It was more than a little shaky at the moment. “Tam. You don’t have to. I didn’t come here for sex. I just really enjoy your company. Truly, I don’t need more than that from you.”
Shaking his head, Tam stepped back in to whisper a kiss against his mouth. “You’re not paying me to do this, Jakob. I want to touch you. I desperately want to touch you. Don’t you want to do the same?”

Jakob wasn’t insane, or dead, so he could only answer, “Yes.”

“Then come here.”

Like a man bewitched, he went, following him down to the couch, stretching over that gorgeous body with a groan. God, he felt even better under Jakob like this, legs apart and cradling his hips, hands sneaking up under Jakob’s shirt. He kissed him hungrily, not sure what was appropriate, but needing skin. He tugged at Tam’s shirt too, wanting it out of the way, but his own weight and Tam’s kept it semi in place. Frustrated, he levered up and shirked his own shirt, letting it fall carelessly to the floor. Tam lifted up just enough to do the same and oh damn, all of that perfect golden skin was on display for him. For a moment, Jakob forgot how to breathe.

“I do love the way you look at me,” Tam purred, twining both arms around his shoulders and drawing him back in.

Jakob went, unable to even contemplate doing otherwise, hands roving over warm, smooth skin. Tam had some sort of exercise regime, something that left him slender but defined, pleasantly so. Jakob’s mouth trailed after his hands, finding a likely spot on Tam’s neck and enjoying the way the man groaned and sighed in pleasure. Marking that spot as sensitive, he kept going to a nipple, licking and tugging with his lips.

“Ais kushue,” Tam said on a gasp, arching into him.

Not knowing what it meant, Jakob had to guess from the tone alone, and since Tam made no move to stop him, he had to assume it was something good.

Tam shifted, a hand squirreling down between them to find his waistband. The idea of being touched sounded wonderful, and Jakob wanted to encourage this, so he shifted his hips up and to the side to give him the room needed. His pants loosened as the button and zipper were undone, and then that warm hand dipped inside and pulled him free. He’d of course had a hand on himself over the years, and he thought he knew what to expect, but it felt so different having that hand grip him that he pulled back from the kiss with a gasp. Oh god. Ohgodohgodohgod, why did that feel so amazing?

“That’s lovely,” Tam complimented, hand stroking from root to tip in a manner that wasn’t at all timid. “If I’d known you had this, I wouldn’t have let you walk away from me last night.”

A flush worked its way up his skin. He’d not thought himself all that different from other men—being in the army, you saw practically everyone naked at some point or another—but he liked that Tam so obviously appreciated him. “Can I touch you too?”

“I’ll be very disappointed if you don’t.”

He fumbled more than he should have—the hand stroking him was not helping his concentration whatsoever—but he managed to get the buttons and zipper undone and his own hand inside. Tam was half-hard already, and he filled and thickened in Jakob’s hand as he gave that hard, hot length a tentative stroke. Tam’s eyes fell to half-mast, a feline smile of pleasure toying around the corners of his mouth. Emboldened by that expression, Jakob firmed his grip and tried to match Tam’s rhythm.

The smile widened. “You do learn so quickly. Here, take us both in hand.”

Game to try, he maneuvered them more on their sides, wrapping a hand around both of them, jacking together. It felt good like this, too, and even better when Tam rocked his hips, rubbing against him. Shit, how had he gone thirty-five years without even trying to have something like this? It felt so incredible.

Tam caught his mouth, kissing him hungrily, still maintaining that rhythm. Jakob could feel his climax building, hotter and harder than usual, not to mention faster. He normally needed several minutes of dedicated attention before getting anywhere near this point. Not three bloody minutes. No, shit, no, he didn’t want to end so quickly. “Wait, Tam—” he protested breathlessly against that mobile mouth.

“It’s alright,” Tam responded, that normally smooth voice rough with desire. “This won’t be our only time. I promise you. Come for me, sweetheart.”

God, that voice. It undid him completely, and he jerked and shuddered, locked for a moment in the throws of pleasure. His vision went white for a moment, and because of that he missed it when Tam came, although he felt the hot splash of semen hit his bare stomach. Panting for breath, he held the other man close, heedless of the mess on their stomachs, prolonging the moment as long as he could.

Tam snuggled in with an audible purr of contentment. They lay there for several moments, catching their breath, enjoying the intimacy, before Tam pulled back with a grimace. “Any longer, and we’ll be adhered to each other. Here, there’s tissues behind us.”

Stretching over the arm of the couch, he pulled two free, passing one to Tam before cleaning himself up. The dredges of regret settled in his stomach as Tam lifted himself off, righting his clothing. He wasn’t at all prepared to let go of the man yet. Finnish he might be, with the personal space that went with it, but the instinct of staying close to a lover apparently was universal.

Lover. Only Tam wasn’t that, was he?

Carefully keeping that thought off his face, Jakob climbed off the couch and righted himself as well, pulling his shirt back on. Tam surprised him by rising up on tiptoes, pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth. “Feed me, then bed?”

Relief nearly swamped him. Even if it was just once more, he’d have Tam again, and Jakob couldn’t complain about that. “Sounds perfect.”

“Good. I’m actually quite starved, I didn’t get lunch today.” Tam skipped back to the stove, lifting the lids to check the contents.

Not sure if he wanted to know, but too curious about Tam to let it lie, he asked, “Was there a problem?”

“Oh yes,” Tam answered sourly. “I live on the second floor, and the woman above me came flying down in a panic because while cooking, her stove caught fire. She was fortunately smart enough to not throw water on it, but because she let it burn while fetching help, it caught the wall and part of the cabinets framing the stove on fire as well. Fortunately, we were able to put it out rather quickly, but she was so distraught, and her Finnish nonexistent, she was no help when the firemen came. I had to translate for her.”

Jakob came to sit at the bar, watching as Tam served up the thick stew on its bed of jasmine rice. He was privately thrilled to learn something of Tam. For all that the man talked, he didn’t actually give many personal details. “I’m sure she was relieved you helped her.”

“Relieved and swearing she’d name her first child after me.” Tam shot him a grin as he put a bowl in front of him.

“Have you ever considered working as a translator?” The question popped out before he could reign it in. Was it proper to ask that sort of thing in this setting?

Tam shot him a look that was a strange mix of emotions, none of which Jakob could properly untangle. “I actually started working as a translator when I immigrated over here. I still do, occasionally, as people know that I have the skills for it.”

So it wasn’t that he didn’t have the experience to do it. Maybe he didn’t get enough work to make it viable to support him? “I’d wondered. You’re so perfectly fluent.”

“I’m hardly unique in that,” Tam observed, popping up to sit in the stool next to him. “Eat, eat, before it grows any colder.”

Jakob dipped a spoon in, popped a bite into his mouth, and moaned in pleasure. “Tam. Marry me.”

Tam choked on his food, spluttering on a laugh. “Well, that was easy.”

“I’m perfectly serious,” Jakob assured him, his mouth reporting nothing but delight. “I have never had chupatah this good.”

“The trick is to let the broth simmer overnight,” Tam informed him, still laughing.

“You say that like I have even the slightest idea how to make this.”

“You’re a talented general, a strategic genius,” Tam retorted, eyes dancing in mirth. “Surely you can cook.”

Jakob shook his head ruefully. “I can reliably cook five recipes without setting things on fire and that includes myself. You don’t want me to try anything else.”

“So you do have flaws. I’d wondered.”

Frowning at him, Jakob put his spoon down for a moment, letting it chink against the edge of the bowl. “I’m not perfect, Tam.”

“You cannot convince my countrymen of this,” Tam retorted, tone half-serious.

Seeing a beautiful opening to possibly get an answer to something that had puzzled him for years, Jakob put the question out there. “Why do your people so universally adore me, anyway? It’s strange. I’m not the only one that’s helped you.”

“Mmm, it’s a mix of things.” Tam paused, mentally phrasing things before ticking off the reasons on his fingers. “We know that you disobeyed a direct order to save us. Not many people would do that. You’re correct, many of your countrymen helped us, and we’re thankful to them, but they never really tried to meet us halfway. They expect us to respond in their language, using their customs. Not once have you done that. I’ve heard multiple people tell me stories about how you come, and ask how to properly say a word or phrase, and you always respect our customs when you’re with us. That attitude is rarer than you’d think. But because you do that, you’ve not only endeared yourself to us, but you set an example for the entire army to follow, and follow it they have. To mixed success, I grant you, but still. You were the trailblazer.”

Jakob stared at him in amazement. “But….”

“But what you did was not that remarkable?” Tam lifted a hand to caress his face gently, the gesture sweet, leaving his skin tingling in response. “Have you not learned by now that often the most drastic movements start with little pushes?”

Jakob shook his head. “Not what I meant. Your people have always been so generous and kind to me. I love being around them. I was just indulging myself, really. I just wanted to be with all of you.”

A soft, gentle expression stole over Tam’s face. “We love you too. We know that you like us. That’s also the reason why we adore you. I think that settles it. We’ll just steal you. Finland’s had you for thirty-five years now. Our turn.”

Jakob busted out laughing, shaking his head. “That’s not how life works, Tam.”

“Nonsense, I’ll find you a very nice Tandiiran man to marry, we’ll make it legal and everything.” Tam winked at him, going back to his stew.

Jakob knew him to be kidding, but he still winced. “Damn, but that wouldn’t go over well.”

Spoon halfway to his mouth, Tam paused, attention sharpening on him. “Why not?”

He didn’t mean to get into this, he really hadn’t, but…well, Tam was easy to talk to and aside from Gar, one of the few people that he could talk to. Stirring his stew to avoid looking the man in the eye, Jakob admitted, “I haven’t come out yet for two very good reasons. First, my family is very conservative. They were not happy about the recent laws legalizing same-sex marriage.”

Tam’s hand gripped his arm, supportive even as he questioned, “They won’t accept you?”

“I honestly don’t know. There’s a part of me, the child in me, that says of course they will. But I think every child hopes for that. The cynical, adult side of me isn’t so sure. My parents are very strict. They’ve always envisioned a wife and children for me, just like they envisioned a successful career with the army, and they’re not going to handle it well when I deviate from that plan.” Sighing, he regretted bringing this up, as it hardly did justice to the excellent food. “I have every intention of coming out to them, you understand, I just don’t want to do it until I have someone that will make the ordeal worth it.”

Tam’s voice was subdued as he asked, “You said two reasons. What’s the second?”

“The army’s slow to change in their attitudes or opinions,” he admitted frankly. “I don’t think they’ll accept having a gay general easily. It might well end my career. I’m not sure.”

“After all you’ve done?” Tam asked in disbelief.

“Bigotry and hatred run deep, Tam. I’ve seen and lived through it for seventeen years. I’m not blind to what will happen if I come out.” Sighing, he ran a hand over his hair, truly regretting bringing this up. “But I’m not going to let it stop me, at least, not for much longer. I refuse to live the rest of my life alone just because I didn’t have the courage to go against the grain. I want a lover. I want a husband. If I’m damn lucky, maybe I’ll find a man that wants to have kids with me. I can’t have any of that until I step out, I know that, I’m just not quite ready to face the music yet.”

“You think that coming out means going without a safety net to catch you, hence why you want to have a lover first, to support you.”

“Well, yeah. That and to remind me why it’s all worth it. I do better if I have something to protect, or an obvious goal to reach.”

“I think we all do better with those things.” Ducking his head, Tam caught his eye, drawing his head back up. “But Jakob, you are not alone. Since the day you came to Tandiir, and my people met you, you’ve never been alone. If your people, your family, cannot accept you as you are, then come to us. We’ll take you in a heartbeat.”

Jakob searched his eyes and found only sincerity and rock-solid conviction. He really believed that. There was no doubt in Tam’s mind. Jakob cast his mind back to every interaction he’d had with the Tandiiran people, remembering the warmth of their response to him, even from their leadership. Perhaps Tam had a good point. “You think if I put in a request for immigration, they’ll accept it?”

“Accept it? They’ll throw a party, rub it into your president’s face that he lost you, and refuse to give you back. Any Tandiiran would tell you the same.” Mischievously, Tam added, “And you can openly date any man you like in Tandiir.”

Jakob regarded him suspiciously. “Are you trying to lure me to the dark side?”

“Naturally. We have cookies.”

“Oh, well, if there’s cookies…” Jakob responded in kind, smirking as Tam laughed. He did feel lighter at this reassurance, not only because Tam had taken the time to reassure him, but because he believed it to be true. Well, he didn’t fully buy the celebration-rub in face- part of it. But he did think the Tandiiran government would promptly accept his visa application if he ever submitted one. Tam was right, he did have a safety net if he needed one, just perhaps not where he’d expected one to be.

“Eat,” Tam ordered, pointing to his bowl. “It’s growing cold and I still have plans for you.”

Unable to check it, Jakob glanced toward the open bedroom door. “Plans?”

Waggling his eyebrows, Tam promised, “Yes, those sorts of plans.”

Jakob swallowed hard and tried with herculean effort to not scarf the stew.

 
4 
 
 
Jakob went through the motions of weekend chores, a mindless exercise that let him think. If the army taught you how to do anything, it was to clean. He polished his shoes, cleaned the bathroom, swept and mopped all the floors. The kitchen didn’t really need any attention but he scrubbed it too, going so far as to pull out the fridge and stove in order to clean behind them.

He spent three hours scrubbing, but it wasn’t that large of an apartment, and it hadn’t been messy to begin with. Eventually, he ran out of things to scrub. Problem was, he was no closer to a solution.

Last night with Tam had been…eye-opening. Jakob always suspected he had a healthy libido, but without a partner to test that theory with, it’d been very hypothetical. With Tam willing and available, it was proven very quickly. They’d stayed wrapped up with each other until the small hours of the morning. Even now, hours later, he had no idea how he’d managed to rip himself away from the man.

Seriously, what the hell did he do about this?

The doorbell rang. Relieved at the possibility of an interruption, he went and answered it, pulling the door open to reveal Gar in civvies. A six pack of beer in one hand, a white board under the other, he had a very knowing expression on his face. “Need a sounding board session?”

“You,” Jakob informed him gratefully, “have impeccable timing.”

Gar slid inside as he backed up, giving him room to enter, taking the beer to help free up one of his friend’s hands. Beelining for the couch, Jakob asked curiously, “Although how did you guess?”

“Oh please, like that’s rocket science. This is literally the first time I’ve seen you attracted to anyone, and here you ask the man out a second time despite all the very large pitfalls, of course you’re torn up about what to do next. It’s like you think I don’t know you or something. After serving with you for nearly seventeen years.” Gar plopped onto the couch, laying the white board and a bag of markers down on the coffee table. “I’m also here to get all the details. I do mean all the details.”

Snorting, Jakob cracked open a can and handed it over. “Of course you are.”

One leg tucked up another, Gar made a show of getting situated before giving a cheesy smile. “You may proceed to debrief.”

Jakob almost did just that, then thought better of it. “Before we do that, answer a question for me.”

Eyes narrowing suspiciously, Gar returned, “Why?”

“Because I want to see if this is normal or not.”

Deliberating for a moment, Gar finally lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Fine. Shoot.”

“What’s the normal behavior for an escort on a date?”

“Hmm, I mean I’m not an expert on this myself, having never been on a date with one. But if you listen to talk, then normally you meet them at a restaurant or bar, maybe chat a little, then go to a hotel room. Have sex, maybe a little pillow talk, sex again if you’re willing to pay for a double. Then you shower and leave. That’s the higher priced escorts. Anything lower than that, you just find somewhere cheap and have sex, then you leave.”
That’s more or less what Jakob expected as an answer. “He rented a house for last night. He cooked chupatah for me, from scratch. He pulled me to the couch at one point, obviously for sex, and I assured him I didn’t come for that. He said, and I quote, ‘You’re not paying me to have sex with you. I want to touch you, desperately.’”

Gar’s jaw dropped a little. Then he let out a low whistle. “Well, well, well. I didn’t expect that. He literally pulled all the stops for you.”

“He did.” Jakob passed a hand over his face, the memories of that night replaying through his head with the force of a wrecking ball. “And the sex…god. I didn’t want to stop touching him. The pleasure was so intense it was borderline painful, and we didn’t even have anal sex.”

Sipping at his beer, Gar regarded him thoughtfully. With deliberate care, he spoke. “Jakob. Are you falling for him?”

“I might be. I don’t know.” With a half-laugh, he looked away. “I’ve never been in love before. Never been close. I’m not sure what it feels like. But he was in my personal space most of last night, and not only did I not mind that, I actively tried to keep him there. I was seriously torn about parting from him this morning.”

“That says a lot, coming from you. You’re not really touchy-feely.”

“I know.” Jakob left it at that.

“You said that he’s gorgeous, and fluent in Finnish, and apparently a good cook?” Gar paused, and got a nod of agreement. “But what is he like?”

“Intelligent. Considerate. Charming, fuck he could charm anyone. I laugh more with him than anyone else. And he has this way of asking me questions…of listening to the answers. I confide in him things that I hesitate to say even to you.” Earnest now, Jakob set his untouched beer aside, trying to convince his friend, perhaps convince himself. “He told me he was a translator when he first immigrated over. That he still does it occasionally. I think he wasn’t getting enough work to support himself.”

“And so he fell into this, somehow, as a way to pay the bills?”

“That’s my theory.”

Gar didn’t look entirely sold on this. “It’s true, most of the sex trade is made of immigrants. Work’s not always easy to find over here. Even if you have a good skillset. The way you’re saying this, I have a feeling you’re trying to convince yourself of something.”

“I think…I think I should try dating him.” There. It was finally said. Jakob felt like he’d thrown a fifty pound pack from his shoulders getting those words out.

His friend regarded him with slack jawed amazement for a moment. “Seriously?”

Withdrawing a little, Jakob stared toward the ground. “You don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I’m not sure if it is or not, I’m just amazed you’re that gung-ho on him that you’re actually pursuing him. I’ve never seen you so motivated to date before. It’s kinda nice. But I need to play devil’s advocate for a sec. You have considered that he’s charmed you like this because having a steady client would be good for him?”

“He wouldn’t let me pay him for last night,” Jakob confided quietly.

Gar fumbled the beer can, nearly dropping it. “Shit. Fucking shit, seriously?”

“I won enough of the argument that I reimbursed him for renting the house, but that was it. He wouldn’t accept a dime more.”

“Shit,” Gar repeated, voice climbing. “Okay, I take it back, he clearly likes you too. Have you considered that he might be doing this for his own, less pure reasons, though? I mean, you’re a rich prize. A brigadier general. He’d be set if he could catch you.”

“I have thought about that.” It was impossible not to. His mind thought in ways of tactics, strategies, of weaknesses and strengths from both sides. He’d been trained to think in such ways. It felt like a disservice to Tam to do it, though, his instincts said so. “I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.”
“You normally have good instincts with people.” Gar rubbed a finger around the top of the beer can, thinking hard. “The sex might be blinding you in this case, but I’ll give it even odds you’re right. Okay. You’ve told me enough to convince me that this might not be a complete disaster.”

Jakob brought his shoulders back up. Unable to keep the hope out of his voice, he asked, “Really?”

“If nothing else, he puts a smile on your face, and I’m inclined to like him just for that.” Raising a finger, Gar advised bluntly, “But you’re not going to be stupid about this. We need a game plan.”

His eyes went to the board on the table. “Ah, is that what the white board’s for.”

“Of course. You do better with game plans. Even if you deviate and ignore them completely about halfway through.” Gar said this last part with dark humor.

“The last time I pitched the game plan out of the window, it got us all promoted,” Jakob reminded him with a grin. “You shouldn’t be complaining about that habit.”

“I’d like to take this moment to remind you that the time before that, when you pitched the plan aside, you almost got us all court-martialed too.”
Jakob just shrugged, as it was the truth.

Grumbling, Gar set the beer down, exchanging it for the white board. “Alright. Let’s lay this out. I think you should date for at least two months before trying to take things seriously.”

“That sounds fair,” Jakob allowed, watching as his friend scribbled this out in black marker.

Still writing, Gar continued, “I’m writing down warning flags in red on here. If he does any of these things, you promise that you ditch him immediately.”
“I’m not an idiot, Gar.”

“You’re male. Of course you are. We can’t help ourselves when sex is involved.” Gar kept writing, not even looking up.

He grunted, exasperated, but privately admitted that Gar was wise to write down these warnings. If nothing else, it would serve as a good reminder to him. The bullet points were short and succinct: If he asks for money. If he asks for a serious favor. If he demands you take him to a public function. If he hints that he wants to move in with you.

Drawing a line down the center, Gar switched markers to blue and stayed poised over the board. “Alright. Right now, how much do you know about him personally?”

“Not a lot,” Jakob admitted in a grumble. “I know he lives in a second floor apartment, that he acts as a translator, that he’s in and out of the Tandiiran Quarter. I think he’s mid-twenties, perhaps a little older. He’s mentioned family, but they’re all still in Tandiir.”

“Alright, then that’s your first bullet point. You want to date this man, you have to learn more personal stuff about him.” Gar wrote this out. “And you need to actually do things for him and see how he responds.”

Jakob thought half of this was obvious, but he appreciated Gar writing it out, as he honestly had no idea how to really date. “Can I move this out of hotel rooms?”

“I think you need to, but do that gradually. It might be a little out of his comfort zone and you don’t want to tip your hand too quickly in this. And Jakob, I know you’re excited because you’ve finally found someone that you really like, but remember this: You still haven’t come out yet. And until you do that, you need to be discreet.”

Sound advice. He’d try to take it.
 
+
 
Tam read the email and promptly popped up to do a happy dance around his chair. It was a half-day at the clinic, so he was at work, and doing happy dances might not be professional, but screw it. He was happy. Jakob had sent another request for a date, this time at a rather nice restaurant that was known for being expensive as hell and discreet for meetings.

It was the first time he’d suggested something that didn’t include a bedroom and Tam was hopeful. Last night had been…well. Words failed to describe last night. He’d hoped to work his crush out a little and show Jakob the pleasures of good sex. He’d failed at the first and succeeded at the second. This was not going according to plan at all. In fact, the more time he spent with Jakob, the more he learned about the man behind that very sexy uniform. And the deeper he fell for him.

What was he supposed to do?

Jamilah stepped in, dark hair up in a bun, blue scrubs on, a clipboard in her hand. She had her mouth open in a question that paused when she caught sight of his expression. “I thought I heard you dancing in here, and now you’re frowning. What’s going on?”

Tamjir eyed her, weighing the pros and cons of confessing. In the end, he chose a path of half-truth. “Jassy, I might have done something stupid.”

“Oh boy. I’m sitting down first.” She promptly did, in his visitor’s chair, and settled in with a sigh. “Alright, what did you do this time?”

“Well, I met a perfectly wonderful man this week—”

Her eyebrows shot up hopefully. “And? Tell me you haven’t screwed it up already.”

Wincing, Tamjir admitted, “And there’s a bit of a misunderstanding and he thinks I’m an escort.”

Jamilah sat there blankly, a woman waiting for the punchline. “Come again?”

“It’s because Mäkinen introduced us,” Tamjir answered, dropping heavily into his chair. “He thinks I’m an escort.”

“Oh shit. I can totally see how that would happen, though. You’ve tried to straighten him out?”

“Sort of? But he’s so certain of it, and I’m not sure of how to unravel this knot without making him angry. Or embarrassing him. And you know how well men handle embarrassment.”

“That’s to say, not at all. Damn, Tam, this is not good. How many times have you seen him?”

“Two dates in the past two days. He’s asked me out to dinner for tomorrow night. I’m—” Tamjir rubbed at the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache forming. “I’m happy, but alarmed too. I can just feel this spiraling out of control. I told him quite firmly to not pay me for last night, that he didn’t need to pay me anything for me to be with him. He still reimbursed me for the little house I rented.”

Jamilah pursed her lips, watching him with a mix of sympathy and amusement. “You really have dug yourself into a hole, haven’t you? Tam, you need to tell him.”

“I knooow,” he groaned.

“No, seriously, tell him tomorrow. If you think he’s going to be embarrassed now, think about how he’ll react later when he figures it out. A month, two months, three months from now, if you’re still dating, it’ll be so much worse. Relationships built on lies don’t last. Be sensible, use the brain I know you have, and tell him.”

Tamjir knew her to be right, but he didn’t feel like it was that simple, either. Doing so would get Mäkinen into trouble, as the man shouldn’t have brought Tamjir into this to begin with. But he couldn’t explain that to her without giving Jakob’s identity away, which he absolutely could not do. If word of this got out, it would do his general irreparable damage. He trusted Jamilah, of course he did, but this was too juicy of a secret to keep. Three people already knew about it and secrets were best kept between two, not three. They were already straining lady luck’s good will.

Rubbing at his forehead again, Tamjir groaned. If there was a good way out of this, some path he could take where he could still date Jakob and not hurt him in the process, then he didn’t see it.

 
5 
 
 
Jakob normally wasn’t in this particular wing of the base, but he liked to do spontaneous spot-checks. When people knew there was an inspection coming up, they were quick to clean things up and polish them to avoid drawing any attention. But that didn’t really ensure that there were no problems. Hence Jakob’s habit of playing inspector general at random.

Today’s plan was to check the armory, then pop into the supply depot, and make sure that everything was organized as it should be. As he passed people in the halls, he gave them nods and a few salutes of greeting, but didn’t stop. He had only three hours to work with, and then he absolutely had to leave to get ready for his date with Tam.

As he closed in on the supply depot, he realized the door was ever so slightly cracked, and there were voices coming through it. Angry, sneering voices overlapping a softer voice that pleaded. What the hell?

Coming in closer, he listened hard, his ear practically glued to the door. He needed to get the lay of the land first before jumping in there.
A male voice sneered, “You think we’re okay with fags like you in the ranks? You think it’s okay to look us like that? I don’t want your eyes going above your boots, Sergeant.”

Jakob’s blood started boiling.

In a soft voice, someone responded, voice strained, “Sir, I’ve never looked at anyone inappropriately. I don’t dare on base. Please stop this, you’ve misunderstood—”

“The hell I have, Sergeant. You know what, we don’t fucking need men like you in this army and if you don’t—”

Unable to stand another second of this, Jakob grasped the round door knob and yanked it open. The tableau inside the room froze. It was three men, two lieutenants who had maneuvered a staff sergeant into a corner, the man’s back literally against the metal shelving. The sergeant looked ready to either cry or make a break for it, between a rock and a hard place as he was. His fear racketed up visibly as he took in the sight of Jakob standing framed in the doorway.

For his sake, Jakob gave him a reassuring nod, and his heart broke a little more when the Sergeant looked back at him with confusion, as if he couldn’t possibly understand what that meant.

Jakob’s veins turned molten red with anger as he pinned the two lieutenants with his eyes. “Gentlemen. I overheard part of your conversation. I find it very unfortunate that two officers in our army so casually disregard the laws of this country in order to further their own hatred and bigotry. I find it even more unfortunate that they’ll do that with someone that is a fellow soldier. To say that I am disappointed in both of you is a vast understatement.”
They paled as he snarled the words, immediately stepping back a few feet as if to distance themselves from the situation.

“Both of you are suspended without pay for a week. I’ll investigate both of you and if I’ve discovered that you’ve been abusing other people for their orientations? You best kiss your careers goodbye. I won’t have men in this army that can’t even respect the laws of the land. I don’t care what your personal opinions are, you do not abuse your rank like this.”

They were red in the face from anger and embarrassment but mumbled out something that might have been “Yes, sir.”

“You are to report directly to my office and wait there. I’ll deal with you in a moment.” They both saluted him before stepping carefully around and out the door. Jakob sucked in a deep breath, trying to regain his temper, before turning to the poor sergeant. The man looked back at him with thankful tears in his eyes that didn’t fall, thankfully.

“Thank you, sir,” the sergeant whispered.

“You shouldn’t have to thank me, Sergeant—” Jakob’s eyes went to the name patch on his breast pocket “—Aalto. I want you to come with me, and I want you to list every instance where they’ve cornered you like this. If anyone else has been abusing you, I want their names too. I won’t tolerate this behavior.”

Aalto’s relief transformed into a shark-like smile. “With pleasure, sir.”

“And Sergeant? To make up for this, I’m going to give you an opportunity.” Jakob didn’t think it would go down well for Aalto once the details of this came out. Best to give him the option to make a clean start somewhere else. “You may transfer to any station of your choice, under any officer of your choice, and I’ll make sure it happens.”

Aalto didn’t even need to think about it. “Please and thank you, sir.”

“Then consider it done. Come with me to my office. I’ll have you transferred out in the next three weeks.”

“Yes, sir.”

Jakob turned on his heel and led the way back out, struggling with his temper as he moved. He should probably put Gar on this, have him investigate and mitigate the punishments. Frankly, Jakob didn’t trust himself to be a fair and impartial judge. Not when it came to this.

+ 
 
He tried to put it out of his mind. His fourth date with Tam was tonight, and he didn’t want to carry any of his anger over with him. Jakob had bought tickets to a theater box in the Tandiiran Royal Theater for a production of a Tandiiran fairytale turned musical. Jakob had a weak spot for music of all sorts, musicals especially, and Tam had looked intrigued by the show when he asked him about it on their last date.

The theater here had regular seating along the main floor, but the mezzanine and galley areas had a large couch for each box, with curtains on either side to block the view of the next box’s occupants. It was the perfect blend of public and privacy. Jakob sat on the couch with Tam snuggled into his side as the first act opened and tried to put the past four hours out of his mind.

He managed with limited success.

The curtain closed, signaling the end of act one, and Tam stirred in his arms. “You’re not enjoying this.”

Jakob blew out a breath before turning to look into those rich brown eyes. “Sorry. It’s not the play, the play’s fine. Something happened at work. I’ll let go of it—”

Tam lifted a hand and lightly stilled his words with a touch against his mouth. “Don’t do that. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Something about Tam made him feel like he could say anything, be anything, and it was alright. That he wouldn’t be judged for not fitting some preconceived image. Perhaps it was because of that, the words came out unbidden. “I punished two lieutenants today.”

Tam angled his torso so he could look more directly at him. “What for?”

“They were saying horrible, hateful slurs against a younger sergeant,” he whispered mental eyes returning to that supply room. “I lost my temper just listening to them. I suspended them without pay for a week and told the sergeant that I’d transfer him to any station of his choice, under any commander of his choice, if he wanted. The sergeant had tears in his eyes, he was so hurt and upset, and he promptly thanked me and agreed. And god, I wanted to rip right into those two idiots all over again for abusing their rank like that. But I might have…I might have overdone it. They were homophobes, both of them. It’s what caught my attention, the slurs they were using.”

“And because it felt more personal to you, you think you overreacted?”

Nothing about Tam’s voice indicated censure but still, Jakob felt it. “Yeah.”

“And you’re worried about becoming the bully you’re trying to defeat.”

“Yeah,” he agreed in a year’s worth of sighs.

“That’s hard to judge, sweetheart. But I trust your sense of justice. And if this young man was on the verge of tears, and ready to escape them, then you know that one instance isn’t the only time he’s been ripped into just because of his sexual orientation.”

That was true. Aalto had in fact given him a list of instances that stretched out for months. “So you don’t think it was over the top?”

“No. You just deprived them of money and publicly shut them down. You could have done far worse, correct?”

“True, I could have,” Jakob agreed slowly. And he might still yet. It depended on how badly these two had been acting. Gar was still digging into it when he left.

“Are you really worried about what you did today, or something else?”

That was a very astute question. Tam was full of those. It was part of the reason why Jakob so enjoyed speaking with him. “I think I’m afraid that my temper’s only going to grow shorter. Most of my life, my career, I stayed patient. I kept thinking that things would change. So many people were advocating for same-sex equality, and it looked promising, hopeful, and I just focused on remaining patient. And then it happened, and we got that equality, and I wasn’t naïve enough to think that everyone’s prejudices would vanish overnight, but….”

“But you thought the situation would improve?”

“Yes.” Jakob burrowed in a little more, his hold tightening on Tam. “And now there’s not much hope to cling to. Because we got it, the laws were changed, but how much really changed? I don’t know if I have any patience left to deal with these homophobic idiots. I’m tired of waiting them out.”
Tam was silent for a long moment, his hands once again stroking soothingly along Jakob’ back. “Jakob. I want you to consider something. If you had not been there, what would have happened to that young man?”

He paused, barely breathing for a second as that question crashed through his mind. How many suicides had he seen because of men and women pushed past their limits? Would that young sergeant had been another one? “I don’t know.”

“But because you acted, you do know. I know that you’re tired of fighting this particular battle. I know you want to set your guard down and rest. I don’t blame you.”

Jakob filled in the words he didn’t say. “But what about the other men and women like me, who aren’t straight, who need a superior officer that will protect them. What will happen to them if I leave. Is that what you’re asking?”

“Right now, no one is willing to really make a stand, not that you’ve seen. People are afraid of ruining a career, or being bullied, despite the discrimination laws. I think, dearest, that at this point, you only have one of two paths open to you: fight or flight.”

Jakob drew in a deep breath through his nose, let it out of his mouth, thinking hard. He understood what Tam was so gently saying to him. He knew very well that right now, he hadn’t done much, but if everyone knew that he was gay, wouldn’t it help those under his command? If the officers understood their general was gay, and wouldn’t tolerate homophobic bullshit, wouldn’t they hesitate to let their prejudices out? It may or may not work in his favor.

He still wasn’t quite ready to step fully out of the closet, but at the very least, he could make it clear that he didn’t tolerate homophobia in any form or fashion.

The answer was rather obvious to him. Snorting a laugh, he accused, “You deliberately phrased it that way to make it a challenge to me. You’re trying to make me focus on protecting those that need it, instead of looking out for my own hide.”

“It worked, didn’t it?”

“You are terrifying, Tam.” He lifted a hand to smooth back those soft curls, using any excuse to twine them in his fingers. Tam watched him with a gentle expression, eyes warm. God, he loved it when the man looked at him like that, as if he could move mountains. It made Jakob want to go conquer something. “Alright, you’ve made your point. I’ll have to think of a good, strategic way to do this.”

“Put a rainbow flag up in your office?” Tam suggested in a spurt of mischief.

Rolling his eyes, Jakob objected, “Tam—”

“Oooh, ooh, wear a rainbow bracelet.”

“Tam, seriously?”

“These are perfectly good suggestions, stop dismissing them so hastily.”

“You really are terrifying. Do you know, if our roles were reversed, I’m sure you’d do both of those things?”

“The best way to stand your ground is to quietly put your foot down and let them draw their own conclusions on how far they can push you,” Tam informed him primly. “Don’t draw the line for them. They’ll think you’re not serious and try to push you further. They’re far more likely to be cautious if they don’t know where the line even is.”

That was also very sound advice. Jakob regarded him thoughtfully. “Have you ever considered being a counsellor?”

“Who says I’m not?” Tam retorted, grinning. “But only for very sexy generals.”

Shaking his head, he leaned in to kiss him, their mouths lingering before Jakob retreated. He let his forehead rest against the other man’s and just enjoyed being with him for a moment.

“It’s alright if you want to leave,” Tam said softly. “I don’t mind.”

“No, I want to enjoy the play with you,” Jakob answered honestly. “You’ve put things into perspective for me. I think I can let it go for now. I have plans for you.”

Tam lit up instantly. “Plans? Dinner plans, sexy plans? What are we talking about, here?”
​
“All of those,” Jakob responded, smiling at him. And tonight, come hell or high water, he was going to learn something more about Tam. He had questions he needed answered if they were ever going to be something more to each other than a hired date.
 
(((Okay so as everyone knows, dreams are not these perfectly linear things. They jump around and such. This dream, it jumped what happens next and goes straight to the next scene I'm sharing. If I was legit writing the book, I'd probably build their relationship another few chapters but meh. I'm just sharing the story here, so have the next apart.)))

Jakob, for the second time in two months, knocked on Mäkinen’s office door. He got the call to enter and came through, this time much more confident than he’d been the last time.

Looking up, Mäkinen greeted him with a smile. “Hello, General. You’re well?”

“I am, thank you, Mr. Mäkinen. I have an important question for you.”

“Yes, of course, sit.” Waving him to the guest chair, Mäkinen leaned forward on his desk, expression carefully welcoming but neutral. “What is your question?”

“I’m not quite sure how all of this works,” Jakob admitted without a qualm, “so tell me if I’m far off base. But most of the escorts in the world are under some form of contract, correct?”

“Most are, yes,” Mäkinen answered carefully.

“Is Tam?”

Mäkinen froze, eyes a trifle wide behind his glasses. “I’m sorry, General, but I don’t understand the point of your inquiry.”

“Allow me to be frank, then.” Jakob met his eyes levelly, voice firm. “If he is, I want to buy out that contract.”

Mäkinen’s mouth worked for several seconds. “Buy out the contract…to what end? To keep him?”

If only it was that simple. No, Jakob didn’t actually wish for that. A false ownership of that man’s heart wouldn’t give him what he actually craved. “No. To free him.”

For a moment, Mäkinen seemed flabbergasted. A shrewd expression came over his face in increments. “General, pardon my bluntness, but have you fallen for Tam?”

Jakob took in a deep breath. Released it. Be still, heart, don’t thunder out of the chest. “Yes.”

“I don’t blame you,” Mäkinen assured him gently, perhaps ruefully. “He’s utterly charming, isn’t he?”

“And intelligent, and gorgeous, and you really don’t want me to start listing his attributes, we’d be here the rest of the year.”

Chuckling, Mäkinen shook his head. “I should have expected this, I suppose, all things considered.”

Jakob cocked his head in puzzlement. What did that mean?

“No, General, no one owns Tam. In fact, I think it better you see for yourself what you’re really dealing with.” Taking a memo pad from the drawer, Mäkinen scrawled out an address. “This is where he lives.”

Jakob took the memo from him with a frown. “Is that alright? For you to just give me this.”

“I’ll call and tell him you’re coming.” Mäkinen pointed at the memo. “I’ll tell you this, as well. Tam isn’t an escort.”

Jakob blinked at him, sure he hadn’t heard that correctly. The sentence went through his brain like a wrecking ball and he spluttered. “What?!”

“He isn’t an escort,” Mäkinen repeated, a little abashed. “I know him through…ah, other means, shall we say. I’ll let him explain that. You came to me for an escort, I realize that, and I do apologize for misleading you. I just felt that what you needed wasn’t an escort, but someone like Tamjir.”

A line drifted through Jakob’s head, something that Tam had said to him that first night: First, let me assure you, he did not demand that I come. He explained, and I chose to come, as I did not want any other man with you. Jakob’s head swam with this revelation. Not an escort…he wasn’t an escort, which meant…every time that they’d met, Tam had chosen to come? He hadn’t gotten paid for it, or maybe he had, but he still chose to come?

“General? Are you alright?”

“No,” Jakob rasped, almost light headed. All this time, it had eaten at him, the doubt that Tam really wanted to be with him. And yet, that fear was utterly groundless. He could have ended their association at any time, but he’d chosen not to, instead letting it escalate. Why the hell wouldn’t he have told Jakob who he really was?! Looking at the address, he swallowed hard. “He’ll really be here?”

“Yes. He owns the building. His office is on the first floor, and at this time of the day, you’ll likely find him there.” Mäkinen shooed him on with a gentle, encouraging smile. “Go, General. And I encourage you to ask, not assume. He went to you with only good intentions.”

Jakob managed a nod, found his feet, and escaped the office like a man with his tail on fire. He got to his car on autopilot, revved the engine, and tore out of the parking lot at a faster speed than likely advisable on these rain-slicked roads. Jakob couldn’t claim that he knew every corner of Helsinki, but he knew the street that was on the memo. It was smack in the middle of the Tandiiran Quarter, where most of the refugees had congregated and created their own section of the city.

As he drove, his thoughts spun wildly. He’d never once asked Tam his full name, never asked where he lived. He’d been so wrapped up in the man, but careful at the same time, not wanting to unduly push. It had just seemed rude. Now he regretted it sorely. Jakob had chaffed under their clandestine meetings. He wanted so much more than to have this man during the dark, in private hotel rooms. He wanted…everything. Everything.

Anger tightened his hands on the steering wheel. Jakob wasn’t sure if he was angry with Tam or himself. Maybe both. If he’d just asked. If Tam had just been honest with him. Or…was Tam even single? Mäkinen had said he wasn’t under a contract, but was he in a relationship that kept him from being open with Jakob? Surely not. Surely Mäkinen wouldn’t have set him up with a married man.

“Don’t assume,” Jakob muttered to himself, remembering Mäkinen’s last words to him. “Ask, don’t assume. You can do that now, you know where he is.”
He made the next turn, and the city changed with it.

Helsinki was an old city, filled with clashing architectural styles, depending on the decade or century when the building was constructed. The multi-story buildings were all crammed in side by side, brownstones next to more modern constructions of concrete and glass, the wide streets filled with pedestrians and trolleys. But here, in the Tandiiran Quarter, there were banners crossing the street in every color imaginable with various prayers, blessings, or announcements of upcoming events. The doors were all brightly colored either red or blue, and the streets had multiple vendors set up that sold a wide variety of food, all of it tantalizing to his hungry stomach. He ignored it, easily, as food was the very last thing on his mind right now.

The next right put him on the correct street, and he carefully started looking for building numbers. It took another two blocks for him to find the right one, and he studied it thoroughly, confusion mounting. Sunshine Medical Clinic? Was he reading that right? Jakob had picked up some Tandiirish while fighting in the country, and some more still every time he came into the Quarter for shopping or to eat, but that only meant he knew how to order things and sound out the alphabet. He was far from even survival level.

Finding a parking spot by blind luck, he parked, then headed back to the corner where the clinic stood at a quick trot. It really was a medical clinic, that was obvious with the first glance through the glass doors. A counter with a pretty nurse sat squarely in his view, and the front foyer was clearly a waiting room with a TV in one corner and a row of seating along the walls.

A wild, crazy suspicion rose in him. Tam. Tamjir, Mäkinen had said. It wasn’t an uncommon name, but he’d known a Tamjir before. The kid had been in medical school when he was forced to leave Tandiir, and he’d acted as a translator during that crazy, hectic march across the border. Surely it wasn’t the same person…was it? He’d been barely out of his teens, and it’d been seven years since…and Tam said he was in his late twenties. The math added up perfectly. He’d thought Tam was familiar before, but this? Maybe he was wrong.  

The bell over the door chimed as he stepped through and the nurse looked up with a professional smile that froze for a moment. Then her face lit up and she popped out of her chair, coming around the counter. “General Vanlandingham!” she greeted happily.

It was strange, but Jakob could walk up and down the streets, and as long as he wasn’t in uniform, his own countrymen had no clue who he was. But even in civvies, if he walked into the Quarter, odds were most of the people he passed would recognize him. He gave her a smile, at least he tried for a smile, although it felt odd on his face and he couldn’t maintain it. “Hi. I’m looking for Tam?”

“Oh yes, of course,” she assured him, already turning to duck into the office beyond the waiting room. “Doctor!”

Shit. It really was him.

Tam appeared in the next second, cheeks flushed, shoes skidding on the tile floor, eyes wide in his face. He was indeed wearing a white doctor’s coat, stethoscope hanging around his neck, dressed in a blue dress shirt and black slacks. He slid to a stop, wide eyes pinned on Jakob’s. Jakob stared back, shocked enough that he couldn’t begin to formulate a response. His Tam. A doctor.

“Jamilah,” Tam requested in a hoarse voice, not looking away from Jakob. “Close the clinic for today, go home.”

She looked curiously from one man to another, dark eyes thoughtful, but some women’s intuition likely stirred. “Alright. You take him up.”

“Yes, great idea,” Tam agreed faintly. He quickly shucked doctor’s coat and stethoscope, laying them haphazardly on the counter, before he extended a hand to Jakob, swallowing hard. “Jakob?”

Still very conflicted by all of this, Jakob stared at that hand, but in truth, he couldn’t just stomp off. He had too many questions, for one, and that wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to end them. As angry as he felt about being lied to, he absolutely didn’t want to lose this man completely. He took it, that hand he knew so well, and allowed himself to be pulled around through the back, past a small breakroom, and up a flight of stairs that emptied out to an apartment. A nicely kept, sunny apartment with large windows, comfortable, lived-in furniture and numerous bookshelves that obscured the walls. Because of course Tam was well-read on top of everything else.

Shutting the door behind them, Tam’s hand spasmed in his, holding uncomfortably tight for a moment before he forcefully relaxed. “Mäkinen just called. He said that he’d told you I wasn’t an escort.”

“Yes,” Jakob acknowledged carefully. Anger still threatened to boil over, although he still wasn’t sure who he was mad at. “Although he didn’t tell me you were a doctor. Or that you were my translator as we crossed the border seven years ago.”

Tam winced. “I wondered if you’d ever connect that together.”

“Tam, why the hell would you do this?” Jakob demanded.

“I understand if you’re angry,” Tam allowed, still wincing. “It’s not as underhanded as you think, though. Can we sit down? Five minutes, I promise I can explain.”
That was fair. Jakob was reasonably sure he could keep hold of his temper for another five minutes. He dropped sharply into the nearest chair, and to his surprise, Tam didn’t take the couch nearby, but instead sat on the coffee table, directly across from him, still holding onto his hand.

“When Mäkinen first came to me, and explained what your request was, my first thought was that I absolutely couldn’t let some random man to get his hands on you.” Tam studied his hand, thumb tracing a small circle over his skin. He lifted his eyes up to meet Jakob’s and there was memory there, in his dark brown eyes. “What I told you that night was true. You deserved to be with someone that knew you, respected you, held you in affection. It was a little mad, yes, I admit that. But what you wanted wasn’t sex, it was a friend to help you navigate the tricky waters of dating, and I could do that for you. I felt like it would be a debt repaid.”

Jakob could wrap his head around that. Mostly. “Why not tell me who you were?”

“You were so wary, so adamant about discretion, and I didn’t want Mäkinen in trouble. He really wasn’t supposed to tell me anything, after all. I saw no harm in going along with the white lie, and honestly didn’t expect anything past that night. Why expose Mäkinen?”

The logic was flawless. Except for one thing. “And the second night?”

“You really think I could be content with one night, one taste of you, and not want another?” Tam demanded in exasperation. “Of course I agreed. And you were so sweet, so gentle, so incredibly passionate. By far the most generous lover I’ve ever had. I wasn’t in a hurry to let go of you anytime soon. You weren’t either.”
No, he hadn’t been. Still…. “Two months, Tam.”

Wincing again, Tam grumbled, “I might have let it get out of hand. I knew that. I started writing you a letter, more so I could put my thoughts down and figure out how to explain all of this. I went through thirteen drafts and every version made me sound like an idiot. Which I suppose means I’m an idiot. I just couldn’t…Jakob. I just couldn’t let go of you. I was terrified of upsetting the status quo we had, because I knew that when you learned the truth, you’d be angry. And I wasn’t sure if I could overcome that anger.”

That sounded possibly good. Yes, he was still angry, but Jakob wasn’t an idiot. Or at least he tried not to be an idiot. As absurd as this situation was, he understood that Tam had been initially acting in his best interests and then had fallen into a deep well of lust that he found impossible to climb back out of. Jakob could hardly throw stones at that glass house as he’d done the exact same damn thing. His emotions were riding different highs and lows and he blew out a low breath, burning off the worst of his anger as he did so.

Alright, not the situation he’d assumed it was, far better in fact. So much better he found it hard to retain his anger. But there was a crucial difference between them now and it was that he needed to settle. “And you were content with that?”

Tam blinked at him, not following. “Content with, what? Meeting you in hotel rooms? I admit it fulfilled a certain fantasy of mine of being a man of pleasure, but, well, no. I’m greedy enough that I wanted more. Why do you think I wrote thirteen letters?”

He let out a breath that Jakob wasn’t aware he held. Maybe he still had a chance with this man after all. “Do you know why I went to Mäkinen this morning?”
Those intelligent eyes sharpened. “No, I hung up on him partway. Why did you?”

“I wanted to know if you were under a contract with someone. And if you were, who I needed to buy your freedom from.” Which sounded stupid, under the circumstances, but it was the truth.

Tam’s mouth dropped open. “You. You really were?”

“Because I wasn’t content with just having you in hotel rooms, for a few hours of a night,” Jakob continued, anger hardening his voice and escalating in volume with every word. “I didn’t want that at all. I wanted to date you, openly. I wanted to know if you felt even a small percentage of what I felt for you. And I couldn’t do that if you were fucking paid to be with me.”

Tam darted in, catching his mouth in a brutally hot kiss before drawing back just as quickly to confess, “I didn’t get a dime of whatever you paid Mäkinen.”
Jakob’s jaw dropped. “You’re joking.”

“Not a cent,” Tam confirmed, grinning, hands still cupping his face. “I told him to use it for medical expenses of his people. Which he generally brings here anyway, so I guess the money is coming my direction, but that’s neither here nor there. And yes, love, I wanted to date you too. I want to date you, I should say. Openly, for the whole world to see, and—hmph.”

Jakob kissed him deeply, unsatisfied with the distance between them, grabbing his lover by the waist and hauling him into his lap. Tam went with a grunt of surprise, then folded both arms around Jakob’s shoulders and kissed him back just as passionately.

Drawing back, Tam breathed against his mouth, “Still angry?”

“Furious,” Jakob whispered back, biting at his lips with gentle kisses before moving down to his neck, angling for that spot that made Tam groan. “You really should have told me before this.”

“I really should have,” Tam agreed on a long sigh of pleasure. “I just couldn’t work up the courage. You’re really taking this better than I thought.”

Perhaps he should have been more angry and outraged over this. But Jakob could admit to himself the truth. “Honestly, the reality is so much better than I feared it to be. You’re not an escort that I’ve had to share with other men. You’re not under a contract I’ll need to buy you out of. You actually have chosen to be with me for the past two months. And you’re a doctor, to boot. I have nothing to complain about. But Tam?”

“That better be the only secret I keep from you, ever?” Tam guessed wryly.

“Well, and that.” Jakob would work up an appropriate punishment if he found Tam hiding any other major thing from him. “But there’s a good reason why I moved to uncover the facts.”

A little puzzled, Tam frowned at him, lips still cocked up in a smile. “You told me. To date openly.”

Shaking his head, Jakob corrected him quietly, “I want to marry you.”

Tam froze, eyes almost comically wide.

Jakob waited a second. Then another. He wasn’t sure how to take this reaction. “Tam?”

“I think I suddenly forgot Finnish,” Tam breathed, still frozen. “Say that again?”

“I love you and I want to marry you,” Jakob repeated carefully. “Tam, are you alright with this idea or not?”

“Alright,” Tam parroted blankly. “I’ve been daydreaming about you saying that for seven years and you want to know if I’m alright with that or not. Yes, Jakob, as a matter of fact I would love to be your husband.” His paralysis fell away and he peppered Jakob’s face with kisses, making Jakob squirm and laugh. “Yes, a thousand times yes, you loveable idiot.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to insult someone while accepting their proposal,” Jakob objected, grinning widely. Ecstatic joy threatened to blind him, he was so filled with it. He’d never let this man go, not ever. Whatever price he had to pay to keep Tam was well worth it.

“You’re also supposed to propose with a ring in hand, so shows what you know,” Tam retorted, still beaming. “Can we go get married right now?”

Jakob did a double-take, not expecting this. He knew Tandiiran culture and they loved any excuse to party. Weddings especially tended to be elaborate, neighborhood-wide affairs. “Right now? Are you sure? Don’t you want to do the full wedding ceremony?”

“Bother the wedding ceremony,” Tam bit out impatiently. “If I announced our engagement, I’d have to wait a full year before I could marry you and I am Not. Waiting. A. Year.”

Jakob thought about that. For a full second. “You make a very excellent point. Let’s elope. We’ve got,” he checked the watch on his wrist with a quick flip, “Maybe five hours to buy rings, fill out the paperwork, and find a judge that will marry us before everything closes for the day.”

“I want us back here, in bed, with you filling me in three,” Tam informed him, already climbing off his lap. “Which means I expect you to move, soldier.”

Jakob beamed at him in delight. “Best order I’ve ever been given.”

+
 
Tam managed to get all the way to the car (and lord, what a car!) hopping into the passenger side, before the obvious questions hit him. Buckling in, he put a staying hand on his fiancé’s arm—and wasn’t that a heady thought, fiancé—before Jakob could start the engine. “Wait, wait, I’m not clear on something. If you’ve proposed to me, then did you come out to your parents?”

“Not yet,” he admitted sheepishly. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to accept me or not. I still want the weekend with you, I think we’ve both earned that, then I’ll tell them Monday.”

Because Tam had grown up in a culture that accepted every sexual orientation without a qualm, he didn’t understand all the pressures that Jakob faced. Not truly. Intellectually, he could, and he had to respect how the man planned to handle things going forward. “Alright. You know I have your back.”

“I know.” Leaning in, he stole a kiss, smiling. “Where do you want to get rings?”

Deliberating, Tamjir considered before pointing further along the street. “Pandor’s. I want earrings, too.”

Jakob blinked at him, his eyes flicking to his ears on either side. “In all the rush, I’d forgotten that. But the grooms have both ears pierced during a wedding ceremony, don’t they.”

Tamjir nodded confirmation before assuring him, “You don’t have to, its fine if you want to just wear the ring. I’ll feel strange to only have the ring, is all.”
“I’m marrying a Tandiiran,” Jakob responded with a wink. “I think this is one of those customs I can do.”

Part of the reason why he loved this man was that he could and did meet people halfway. “I’m actually relieved you will. That way everyone understands you’re not available to flirt with.”

A wide grin on his face, Jakob snickered as he started up the engine. “Are you going to be a jealous husband?”

“You’ll be my husband, so yes, yes I am.”

“I am forewarned.” Jakob seemed perfectly delighted by that answer. Pulling out into traffic, Jakob shifted smoothly as he drove them the short mile down to the jewelry store. Sliding into a free spot out front, they quickly stepped in under the maroon awning overhead, the door chime soft and clear as they entered the cool interior of the store.

Pandor’s had been there for two generations, and the age of the store showed in the edges of the fraying carpets, the marks and scuffs on the white walls, but the glass displays were clean and ordered, although crowded in the space. Two people could walk through the array of displays, but not abreast.

Shan Pandor looked up as they entered and greeted them with a smile. “General, Doctor, hello and welcome. What interests you today?”

Belatedly, Tamjir realized that this man would be the first to learn of their engagement. He felt both nervous and excited to share the news. “We’re engaged, Pandor. We’ve come for earrings and rings.”

Pandor’s eyes blinked behind his thick glasses, eyebrows nearly lost in his receding hairline. “Engaged!” Popping off his stool, he darted around, caught Jakob’s shoulders and greeted him with a quick kiss on each cheek. “Congratulations, General, truly, I’m ecstatic for you.”

Jakob’s smile was everything in that moment, bright as the sun. “Thank you, Pandor.”

Pulling back, Pandor greeted Tamjir the same way, then paused with his hands on both shoulders to say seriously, “Good job. Now he’s ours.”

“I know,” Tamjir answered just as seriously. He winked at his fiancé as Jakob snickered again. “I told you, we’ve been planning for years on how to steal you away.”

“You’re both terrible,” Jakob retorted, still snickering.

“That will not stop us,” Pandor assured him, rubbing his hands together in open delight. “Alright, rings and earrings. What metals do you want?”

“Not gold,” Tamjir responded without even needing to think about it. “Platinum?”

“Here, then.” Pandor led them over to the left side of the shop, stepping back around to the other side so he could pull things at their request.

It took more than a few minutes to decide, as there was quite the selection of men’s rings to go through. The earrings were all standard, simple balls of polished platinum, although there were a few small diamonds as well for those that wanted some sparkle. Jakob finally chose a ring that was an unadorned band, which was quite his taste. He never wore anything eye-catching. Tamjir chose something quite the opposite, a band that had elaborate filigree down the center with a border on either side of it. It spoke of both of their personalities, which Tamjir found not only fitting, but amusing.

Pandor wrapped them both and Jakob automatically reached for his wallet.

Catching his hand, Tamjir leaned in and whispered, “I think it’s about time I paid for something, don’t you?”

Pausing, Jakob eyed him thoughtfully. “We really do need to talk about finances at some point, don’t we?”

“Yes, we do, but for right now, I want to buy these.” Tamjir held his eye and waited. When Jakob nodded and gestured for him to go ahead, he let out the breath he’d held. He didn’t really expect many arguments from Jakob, his fiancé wasn’t the argumentative type, but he didn’t know where his lines were on some issues either. They really did need to sit down and properly discuss a few things.

As Pandor accepted the card from him, he cheerfully chattered on, “I can tell you’re both excited, if you’re buying things this early on. Have you chosen a date yet?”

“We’re getting married today,” Jakob corrected.

Tamjir hissed at him in warning, but it was too late. Pandor froze with his hand hovering over the register, staring at them in disbelief. “What?! You can’t!”

“I am not waiting a year to marry him, Pandor,” Tamjir said firmly.

“No, b-but,” Pandor argued, eyes growing impossibly wider in his round face, “think about all the people that want to celebrate with you! Your family, his family.”
“My family won’t support this,” Jakob denied with a sad shrug of the shoulders.

“And mine’s still in Tandiir, for the most part, except for a cousin,” Tamjir added, trying to jostle the man along. “It’s fine. We’ll get married today and worry about celebrating later.”

“But what about us?” Pandor practically wailed. “We want to celebrate with you!”

“Celebrate later,” Tamjir repeated firmly. “Ring us up, Pandor.”

Glaring at him darkly, Pandor started jabbing buttons with more force than necessary. “You won’t get away with this, either of you. I’ll make sure of it.”

Jakob seemed to find this threat funny. Tamjir had no idea what he would do, but he knew Pandor just enough to know the man would try something. “Yes, yes, I’m quivering in my shoes.”

Still glaring, the jeweler handed back his card and receipt, then the bag of earrings and rings to Jakob. “You’re going straight to a register’s office, aren’t you?”

“We certainly are. Thank you, Pandor.” With a wink, he caught his fiancé’s hand and towed him out.

Jakob waited until they were back in the car before asking, “Should I be worried?”

“I have no doubt he’ll try something, but what can he possibly do to stop us?”

Inclining his head in agreement, Jakob put the car into gear and sped off.

The nearest register’s office was actually some distance, so it took more than a half hour to even get there. Tamjir thought he’d vibrate right out of his seat, he was so impatient. When they finally arrived at the two story building, he popped out with a sigh of relief, stowing the rings and earrings into either pocket. They only needed the rings, but he wasn’t willing to leave the earrings in a car. Even a locked car.

They went straight inside of the double glass doors, checking in with the receptionist and gathering the paperwork as they did. In Finland, it was required to fill out a written notice for an Examination of Impediments to Marriage. He knew about it in theory, but of course had never filled out one before. In his clearest handwriting, Tamjir went carefully through the form, filling in things like date of birth, license number, address, and so on.

“Your handwriting is remarkably legible for a doctor,” Jakob observed softly.

“I’m making an effort,” Tamjir admitted lightly.

“Ah, that figures. Rafikii, eh?”

Come to think of it, up until this moment Jakob hadn’t known his full name, had he? He gave his husband-to-be a sharp look. “For all that we’ve dated for two months, there’s still some basics we don’t know about each other.”

“There’s a great deal I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t matter. I plan to spend a lifetime getting to know you thoroughly.” Jakob went back to his form as if he hadn’t said something perfectly romantic and sweet.

This man was so bad for his heart. Tamjir kissed him on the cheek, getting a smile in return, a little shy probably because they were in public. Jakob wasn’t used to that yet. He’d have to get used to it quickly. Tamjir had no faith he could keep his hands to himself where this man was concerned.

Shaking his head, he got his mind back in the game, filling out the rest of the form quickly. Then he got to the second page, the one that inquired which family name he would like to keep as a married man, and had no idea how to answer that. In Finland, they didn’t care if you kept your maiden name, took on your spouse’s, or chose an entirely different surname altogether. As long as it was put down on this form, anything went.

Mouth open on the query, he glanced down at Jakob’s clipboard to see where he was, only to find that not only had he reached the second page as well, but he’d filled in his change of name. To Rafikii.

“Wait,” Tamjir hissed lowly, barely keeping his voice from going up an octave. “Why are you changing your name to mine?”

Jakob gave him a blank look, as if the answer should be obvious. “You’ve told me for months that your people want to adopt me in.”

“Sweetheart, I was kidding.”

“You were mostly kidding, part of you was serious. But that’s not really the reason why I’m doing it. I know for a fact my family won’t accept this. I also know your family will. I want to belong to the family that will.”

That so effectively robbed him of any argument that Tamjir just sat there and stared at him. Part of his heart broke because he couldn’t imagine sitting there and calmly saying that his family didn’t love him enough to accept him as he was. But part of him was so fiercely proud of Jakob, too. Even knowing how people would respond, he refused to compromise himself, refused to live a half-life that was mostly made on a bed of lies. He chose the better path and did it with a resolve that made Tamjir fall for him all over again. “I hope you’re wrong about your family. But you’re not wrong about mine. They’re going to be so smug once they learn about our marriage. They’ll be insufferable with it.”

Jakob looked very pleased at this future. “So, Rafikii.”

“No need to twist my arm.” He put in his own surname, indicating no change on his part, and then took both clipboards back to the receptionist. She informed him it would be a twenty to thirty minute wait to run the examination and then they’d be called back to be married.

It felt more like thirty years by the time they were called back, their certificates of investigation in hand. The officiator was a small man, perhaps mid-thirties, with a bushy red beard that went down half of his chest. He was impeccably dressed in a three-piece suit, and lively, a bounce to his stride as he came forward and shook hands. “Well, gentlemen, this is a surprise. I’m Tak Nurmi. I hope you don’t mind, I demanded the right to marry you, General Vanlandingham.”

Jakob held out a hand and shook it with a pleased smile. “Not at all. Thank you.”

“Do either of you have witnesses?” Nurmi inquired.

“No,” Tamjir denied.

“Then just a moment. I need to pull two colleagues.” He stepped out of the small office, hovering in the hallway. “Saari, Janne, can I borrow you for a moment?”
The sound of high heels quickly answered him, and two women entered with an expectant smile on their faces. A round of introductions occurred, and Tamjir kept an eye on Jakob as he shook hands. His fiancé was pleasantly surprised to be greeted with so much excitement. It made Tamjir wonder just how bad was his everyday environment that he didn’t see how much growth Finland had undergone in the past decade? And did he not understand just how famous he was? Of course people wanted to be involved in his marriage ceremony, for the bragging rights if nothing else.

Nurmi took the certificates from them, duly checked their ID cards, making note of both in his own records before handing the ID’s back. “Do you both have rings? Oh, excellent, always more fun that way. If you’ll hand your phones to my colleagues, they’ll take pictures for you as we do the ceremony.”

“Excellent,” Tamjir agreed instantly. He loved pictures. Pulling his phone free, he unlocked it before handing it over to Janne. “Take many, please.”

“Okay.” She took it with a smile, lifting it up in preparation for snapping a picture.

Clearing his throat in an official manner, Nurmi started, “The purpose of marriage is the establishment of family for the common good of its members and the preservation of society. Marriage is intended to be permanent so as to allow the family members to establish a happy home together.

“Before these witnesses I ask you, Jakob Vanlandingham: Will you take Tamjir Rafikii to be your spouse, to love, for better or for worse?”

Somberly, Jakob responded, “I will.”

“Before these witnesses I ask you, Tamjir Rafikii: Will you take Jakob Vanlandingham to be your spouse, to love, for better or for worse?”

Tamjir’s eyes burned, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest. Never before had he felt such joy, such incredible elation, as he did in answering that single question: “I will.”

“Take the ring from your spouse as a sign of your union.”

They exchanged rings, each putting the other’s on, although Tamjir had to help a little as Jakob had trouble getting his over the knuckle. When they were on, it felt so incredibly right, and Jakob kept hold of him, not willing to let go.

“You are now joined together in marriage. As spouses you are equal. Show love and mutual trust for each other in marriage and act together for the good of the family.” Nurmi stopped and beamed at them. “Feel free to kiss the groom.”

Laughing, Tamjir did just that, rising up on tiptoes to chastely kiss his new husband. He heard the shutter click as he did so, glad that Janne had caught that moment, and feeling Jakob smile against his mouth before he drew back. Jakob took in a breath, then released it, and every tension that he’d held, every worry, was released in that moment as well. All that was left was joy, reflecting back to Tamjir. He was glorious, untouched by sorrow, and Tamjir had the hardest time not pinning him to the desk and ravishing him right then and there.

“Do you mind if I get a photo with you two?” Nurmi asked hopefully.

“Not at all,” Jakob assured him, pulling Tamjir into his side so that they could stand all in a line. Janne helpfully grabbed Nurmi’s phone too and took photos with it, then Tamjir’s before returning his.

Tamjir shook the man’s hand firmly, looking him dead in the eye as he said quietly, “Thank you so much. This means the world to us.”

“I’m happy to share in your day,” Nurmi answered just as sincerely. “If you’ll go back out and wait, I’ll have your marriage certificate printed up, signed and out to you in a few minutes. General, as you requested a name change, we’ll print a new ID for you here as well for you to take. You’ll need to inform everyone else of your name change after this.”

“I will, thank you.”

It was as simple as that. The registrar employees got everything printed and handed to them in a very nice folder, Jakob thanked everyone again, then escaped to the car. As they walked through the parking lot, hand in hand, Tamjir couldn’t help but chant happily, “Matri sor, matri sor, matri sor~”

Jakob stumbled to a stop, bent over double, laughing so hard he was crying. “I do know what those two words mean, you know. Married sex.”

Looking him in the eye, Tamjir deadpanned, “Matri sor.”

Still laughing, he straightened enough to kiss Tamjir, although briefly as chuckles kept escaping. “Is that what life’s going to be like with you? Me, constantly laughing?”

“Probably,” Tamjir admitted cheerfully. “I’m hysterical.”

“And so humble too,” Jakob teased, towing them back towards the car. “And aside from matri sor, are we doing anything else at all this weekend?”

Tamjir lifted a hand, waggling it doubtfully back and forth. “I don’t give that good odds, no. Why, was there something you wanted to do?”

“I do want my ears pierced before Monday. I want to tell my staff that I’m married on Monday.” Jakob looked both nervous and excited by that prospective future.

For all that he didn’t expect a good reception, it amazed Tamjir how fearlessly Jakob moved forward. He was a little humbled by his husband’s courage. If their roles were reversed, would he be able to do the same? “We’ll do that tomorrow. No one will be open on Sunday.”

“Okay.” Sliding into the car, he started the engine, pulling out of the parking lot with a wide grin on his face. “Send me the best picture from your phone, too. I want something to show off with. I think we should get one printed and framed.”

“Absolutely.” Tamjir pulled his phone out of his pocket and flipped through them. “Oh wow, we got some sweet ones. Our photographer has a decent eye. We might need to do one of those collage frames. I don’t think I can pick just one.”

“Send several,” Jakob suggested.

Tamjir started to do just that before pausing. “I don’t know your phone number. Hell, this is ridiculous.”

Jakob took his hand from the gear shaft long enough to take his, squeezing gently. “We’ve got all the time in the world now. It’s fine. We’ll catch up.”

Still amazed at how unbalanced his knowledge was at this stage in their relationship, Tamjir had to take in a deep breath to keep his emotions even. “I’m holding you to that.”
+
 
As Tamjir focused on sending him pictures and getting their contact information into each other’s phones, silence fell for a few minutes. Jakob was rather thankful for it, as he needed a bit of silence to process everything he’d just done. While he’d intended to free Tam since yesterday, he’d not expected to do anything more than hopefully start dating. The proposal had surprised him as much as Tam, to be honest, although he’d never regret it. They’d moved faster than he’d planned for, that was all, and he needed a little time to adjust to it.

He sensed Tam also felt a trifle overwhelmed by this, with his small outbursts of frustration, feeling that he should already know something after two months only to find a blank wall instead. His new husband was more…excitable? Emotional? Energetic? A mix of all those things, really. He’d need to be patient as Tam found his footing in this new relationship dynamic.

Thinking of all the things that they’d need to discuss, decide on, and implement, it threatened to overwhelm him all over again. It was no wonder, really, that the Tandiirans gave an espoused couple a year to plan before the actual wedding ceremony. It would take a year to figure out not only how to throw a grand party, but how to merge two lives together. He had perfect faith they’d figure it out. It would just take more than a weekend.

Speaking of, the next two days would fly by. He’d have to face the music very soon. Perhaps he should call his sister first, sound out if she’d be an ally during this process or not. Catia had always been on his side ever since they were children, but he’d not really spoken much with her the past year. He was busy, she was busy, the hectic lives of adults didn’t allow for much personal time especially with both of them on opposite ends of the country. Still, he had more faith in her accepting him than his parents. At the very least, he owed her a heads up. As for his brother…who knew?

A warm hand found his shoulder, gripping in support and comfort. “Breathe, sweetheart. It will be alright.”

He hadn’t realized he’d tensed until Tam reached out for him. “Sorry. I was thinking that I should call Catia, my elder sister, first. She’s always been my ally in the family. If nothing else, I owe her a head’s up before the drama explodes.”

“This sister, you think she’ll accept us?”

“Odds are likely,” he answered slowly. “She has bisexual and gay coworkers over to the house often, she tells me stories about them. I’m not sure how she’ll feel about me, as sometimes it’s easier to accept a friend than a relation, but I have hope with her. I’ll take a moment to skype with her tomorrow.”

“I should do the same with my family. If they hear through the grapevine that I was married, ay!” Tam rolled his eyes, hands tossed into the air expressively. “I’ll never hear the end of it for the rest of my life.”

“Then we’ll do that.” Jakob turned onto the main street leading into the Tandiiran Quarter, anxious to be back to the apartment. Although he’d have to go back to his place at some point and pack clothes. Or bring Tam to his apartment altogether. Something. He couldn’t stay in the same clothes all weekend, despite Tam’s plan to make sure he stayed naked as much of that time as possible.

Pulling up in a spot near the clinic’s main doors, he got out, thrown off stride as Tam’s nurse was outside the door in a very lovely formal dress of green, her hair done up. What was this about?

“Oh hell,” Tam muttered as he got out. “Jamilah, nen de agre?”

“Pyat,” she said shortly, still tapping her fingers against her arm in a peeved staccato. “You really think you can elope, with him of all people, and we not want to celebrate with you?”

Tamjir rubbed his neck sheepishly and shot Jakob a crooked smile. “I think we’ve been caught.”

“I got that, yeah.” Although he had no idea what was going to happen next. But Jamilah’s dress said there was definitely a party in the works. “I take it someone’s pulled together a gathering for us?”

“We organized a wedding reception for you,” she informed him with a bright smile. Coming to him, she tilted up on her heels to press her cheek to either of his.
Blinking, he pulled back to demand of her, “In three hours?”

“Now, General,” she replied, mischief in her dark eyes, “you know we Tandiirans can move when we decide something needs to happen.”

Well, yes, he’d seen that in the war. If he told them something needed to happen, by god it would happen, and that day if they had anything to say about it. “But three hours? Surely that’s not possible in three hours.”

“The man that says it can’t be done should not interrupt the woman doing it.” Patting his chest, she told him, “Old Tandiiran saying.”

“Accurate as hell, too,” Tam muttered under his breath. “Alright, where’s the party and how long do we have to get dressed? I assume someone sent outfits for us.”

“Nandar did, yes, and they’re laid out on your bed. We had to guess at your sizes, General, so there’s a range up there for you. If nothing fits, tell me, Nandar’s on standby at the store and he’ll fetch anything we need.” With both hands, she towed and prodded and pushed them into motion. “Go, go. And give me the earrings before you go, I’ll take charge of them.”

Tamjir handed over the earrings dutifully, cheerfully resigned to not having married sex until later, if that expression was anything to go by. For all that he had been adamant about eloping, Jakob realized now that doing without any sort of reception would have been a disfavor to his husband. Tam clearly looked forward to it. Jakob rather felt like he’d dodged a bullet here, even if it wasn’t of his own making.

Allowing himself to be prodded up the stairs, he went, straight to the back bedroom. The apartment wasn’t large, four rooms in total, and it was impossible to get turned around here. The traditional red and white marriage outfits were indeed laid out, Tam’s on one side, his three choices on another. Jamilah thankfully closed the door and let them have some privacy as they shed street clothes and picked up the fine silk clothing. The white silk pants, at least, had an elastic waistband and a very baggy fit. Jakob had more faith that he could put those on than anything, although whether they’d be long enough was a different story. The long red tunic did not look wide enough in the shoulders.

“I think the largest size is on the bottom,” Tam pointed helpfully, already out of his clothes and in his white pants.

“I hope so, as this one will not fit.” He rifled to the bottom, and sure enough that was a much larger size, and looked more plausible. Shucking his shirt, he paused to watch his husband put on his wedding clothes. Damn, the man was fine like this.

Tam caught him staring and pointed a finger at him sternly, mouth barely suppressing a smirk. “Get dressed. You can ogle me later.”

“Not much later…no wait, this is a Tandiiran wedding reception. We’re going to be there until birds’ hours of the morning, aren’t we?”

“Probably. I’ll stage an escape by midnight if you really need it.”

Jakob gave him a thankful nod, agreeing. As much as he loved the openness of this culture he’d married into, it did get to be too much after a certain point. Thank heaven Tam understood this.

Back on course, he stripped off his clothes and tentatively pulled on the silk clothing, more than a little worried about ripping seams. The pants were just barely long enough, but passable. The thigh-length tunic, with its elaborate embroidery of white along the sleeves and neckline, looked incredibly fine if much more flamboyant than he normally wore. It fit well enough, flattering his shoulders although a touch wider in the waist than it should have been. He felt a little out of place in it, to be honest, but any protest he might have voiced died an instant death at the look in Tam’s eyes. Tam had that same hungry look that he’d worn the first night they’d become lovers. It made Jakob swallow hard, body heating in a Pavlovian response.

“Tell me that fits and that we can leave this room before I lose control of myself,” Tam ordered in a thick voice.

Did he really want to say that? “It fits.”

“Good. Go. Right now, go, before I rip it back off you.”

Seeing that he was serious, Jakob went, although the idea of having his clothes torn off was rather appealing. He’d definitely keep that option on the menu.
Jamilah was reclining against the back of the couch, waiting on them, and as he opened the door, she straightened with an appraising look sweeping him from head to toe. “That looks fine. Nothing tight?”

“No,” he denied, stretching his arms above his head and out to the sides to demonstrate. “I think it fits fine. Aren’t we supposed to wear sandals with this?”
“Too cold in this weather. I’ve got half-boots for you out here. What size?”

He tried on shoes, went a larger size, then stood again and felt strangely nervous. He was already married, to this very handsome and remarkable man, so what was there to be nervous about?

Tam of course already had the appropriate shoes, as this style wasn’t reserved for weddings, but any formal event. He put his on, pocketed keys, and gave a nod. “Ready. Where did you set up?”

“Pandor’s Palace, of course.”

“Ah. That figures. Only restaurant big enough to hold more than fifty people. Alright, let’s go.”

Jakob wasn’t quite as sanguine about this, but with Tam’s hand clasping his, he managed to keep the butterflies from duking it out in his stomach. They walked to their destination, as it was only a block over and across the street, and Jakob knew even before they got through the open double doors that it was filled to the brim. The Quarter had never been so quiet, hardly anyone on the streets. Everyone had apparently decided they wanted to attend, and were crammed inside a single building, determined to be there.

As soon as they came within sight of the doors, a cheer went up, many hands reaching out to pull them inside, and often into a hug. Jakob froze on instinct, not accustomed to being pressed in on all sides like this, even though it was all affectionate and friendly.

“Don’t crowd him,” Tam scolded them, moving in front to act like a trail blazer. “Remember, he’s Finnish!”

“He’s Tandiiran now!” Someone called back with a laugh.

“Sami, if you make this man divorce me on the day he married me, I’ll have your gonads!” Tam threatened, shaking a fist playfully above his head.

Sami, wherever he was in the crowd, just laughed. So did most of the crowd, for that matter, but the playful threat and admonishment worked and people parted enough that Jakob could get through without being squeezed on all sides.

The restaurant was one of the nicest in the city, a five star that offered authentic Tandiiran cuisine. The foyer stepped up into a large room that doubled as a ballroom, with yet a third raised area on the far side that could be another part of the dining room or a stage, as necessary. It was clearly meant to be for the married couple, as a long table was stretched along the top, set with fine china. The larger section of the room had buffet tables along the sides, the amount of food on them threatening the integrity of the legs, the air thick with the mingled scent of many types of dishes. People were clearly expected to grab food and dance, as very few chairs were to be found anywhere. Someone had strung white and red streamers along the ceiling, along with string lights, and while simple it was a nice effect. It looked fully planned, as if the organizers had been given all the time in the world to set everything up.

Seriously, they’d prepared all of this food and decorated and set up this room in three hours? The next time he needed a deployment or supply officer, he was coming straight here and hiring a Tandiiran matron.

After that single glance around the room to get his bearings, it was a whirlwind.

An MC stood and gave everyone a long speech about marriage, how lucky they were to have such fine men choose each other for spouses, and the blessings of family. Then various people lifted a glass to toast them, the alcohol and words flowing freely. Jakob really only understood one word in three, as most of them spoke straight Tandiirish and very little Finnish. Tam kept a running murmured translation for his benefit, but sometimes he got interrupted before he could finish. After the speech and toast, the dancing started, with people all coming by the high table to say a word to them. Jakob just followed nonverbal cues as best he could and tried not to feel overwhelmed.

The one thing, though, that kept him from retreating was the happiness prevalent in the room. It was catching, engaging, downright infectious. People kept toasting them, offering him bits of food, marital advice, and in several circumstances he was pulled out to dance. Not that he knew how to dance any Tandiiran dances. Not that it stopped anyone.

As part of the reception, their ears were pierced, and when neither of them fainted, they were allowed to sit for a while and eat. Jakob relaxed in the padded chair, his ears aching a little, and looked at Tam to see how he was doing only to find Tam looking at him with the same measuring appraisal.

“Okay?” Tam asked him softly.

Surprised at his own answer, Jakob assured him. “Yeah. Better than okay. You?”

“Eh, this is more or less what I expected. They’ll want to get proper pictures of us at some point, be warned. And we’ve got a prayer book floating around somewhere that we’ll need to collect before we’re allowed to leave tonight.”

He’d almost forgotten about that. It was traditional in Tandiir to fill a leather bound book full of prayers and well wishes for a new couple. It was then either displayed on a shelf above the front door or somewhere in the main room of the family home. It brought good luck into the new family. “I haven’t even seen it.”

“Me neither,” Tam allowed with an easy shrug. This clearly didn’t bother him. “It’ll show up, or someone will make sure it gets to us. I’m—holy shit. Is that who I think it is?”

Turning to see, Jakob jolted with the same surprise. The tall, lithe man in the all white suit was a person he’d sat in meetings with many times. Ambassador Lin Jamaal was one of the most respected people in all of Tandiir, although he now lived in Finland the majority of the year. A bright smile was on the man’s face, framed by the greying beard.

Standing, a little flummoxed by the man’s arrival, Jakob extended a hand. “Ambassador. I’m amazed, how did you know to come here?”

Jamaal clasped his hand firmly, lips twitched up enigmatically. “I have many friends in this area, you know. They made sure I knew. I’m a bit late in arriving, but I did not come short. First introduce me to your new spouse.”

Standing, Tam extended a hand as well, the best he could do with a table between them. Jakob’s manners came to the rescue as he introduced the two men. “Ambassador, my husband, Dr. Tamjir Rafikii. Tam, this is Lin Jamaal. We’ve known each other for years.”

“A pleasure, Doctor,” Jamaal responded with a firm clasp. “And thank you. I’ve been waiting for some time for someone to make my friend happy.”

“I’m selfishly glad to be the one he chose to make him happy,” Tam answered with a soft smile at Jakob. “Welcome, Ambassador. We have a prayer book floating around the room somewhere.”

“I’ll find it before I leave,” Jamaal promised. With a serious look in his dark brown eyes, he turned to Jakob. “My friend, I know the political climate that you’re in better than most. You’ll get a very mixed reaction when you inform people of your marriage. There will be those that celebrate. There will be those that will turn from you because of this, in subtle ways. I came to tell you myself that my king has been informed of your marriage and is even now celebrating it. He told me that if you wish, at any time, we will make a place for you in Tandiir.”

Tam had joked about him immigrating into Tandiir but up until this point, he’d not really considered it seriously. Half-seriously at most. With this incredible offer, Jakob finally understood just how much he was respected and loved by an entire nation. Tears burning in his eyes, he managed past a constricting throat, “Thank you. I might well take you up on that, if things go poorly.”

“I hope, selfishly, that it doesn’t,” Jamaal responded wryly. “I like working with you and its so much easier coming to you with a complaint, as you understand our culture the best. Still, know that we’ll take you with open arms.”

Tam was ramrod straight at his side. “You really expect that much trouble? Even with the change in laws?”

“Those changes were barely passed, and there’s many that are still against it.” Jamaal made a face. “Not something to talk about a wedding celebration. My apologies. I just wanted to make sure you understood how happy we are about your marriage and let you know that there’s a place of safety with us if you need it.”

For Jakob, that was one of the best wedding presents. “Thank you. Truly. And thank His Majesty for me for the well wishes.”

“I will. I also, sadly, can’t linger. But I’ll grab a slice of the cake and write in your prayer book before I go.” Taking both of their hands, he placed them on top of each other, holding onto both with his hands. “Be happy and healthy and love fiercely.”

It was a traditional saying at a wedding for a couple, Jakob had already heard it several times, but it still brought a silly grin to his face. “Thank you, Ambassador.”

“Thank you,” Tam echoed. 

(((Another time skip scene, probably two days later or so.)))

Sitting on his couch, laptop on the coffee table, he hesitated before skyping with his sister. Jakob had texted her, he knew she was waiting on him to initiate the video call, but…damn, this was hard. Tam was in the other room, ostensibly giving him some privacy and room to do this, but near enough to be on hand if Jakob needed him. Jakob had the feeling he’d need him sooner rather than later.
​
Screwing up his courage, he pressed call. Catia accepted it in seconds, her smile lighting her face as she adjusted the camera a touch. One glance confirmed she sat in her home office. Eight years his senior, Catia wore her age well, with barely a wrinkle around her eyes to indicate she wasn’t some young twenty-year-old. She wore a soft blue sweater that highlighted her clear blue eyes and the messy braid of blonde hair over her shoulder. She looked comfortable, as well she should be on a Saturday. “There’s my little brother! Alright, what’s this amazing news do you have to share?”

Always to the point, that was Catia. “First, I have something of a confession. Catia….” His voice froze, heart trembling in his chest.

Her smile dropped sharply. “Is something wrong?”

“Some people will think so. Depends on how you look at it.” Come on, courage, don’t fail now. With another deep breath, he blurted it out. “Catia, I’m not straight. I’m gay.”

She blew out a relieved breath. “Is that all? Dearling, I’ve known that since you were sixteen.”

Jakob nearly fell off the couch. “Why didn’t you say something?!”

“Because you weren’t ready to talk about it. And I knew our parents were going to throw a hissy fit if they found out. Hese suspects as well, and I think he’ll be fine with it, as we talked about it a few years ago. So you don’t have to worry about him. He’s mostly worried about what this will do to your career.”

If she’d been any closer, Jakob would have hugged her. “Really? I was worried about him, too. He’s never said much about how he feels on the topic.”

“You know Hese. Better to just keep your mouth shut rather than get dragged into an argument. But truly, call him after me, tell him. I think you’ll be surprised at how readily he’ll accept this. Jakob—this wasn’t your amazing news, was it? Because you look terrified telling me.”

“No,” he admitted, his terror falling away. If he at least had the support of his siblings, then he’d take that good fortune and run with it. “I, um, got married yesterday.”

Catia stared at him blankly for several minutes. Then she sucked in a breath, blinked, and a wordless screech of shock split the air. “You WHAT?!”

“I got married yesterday.” A little abashed now at not telling her sooner, he stamped down feelings of guilt. “Um, I started dating about two months ago? And I fell for him so quickly my head’s still spinning with it. I proposed yesterday, and he surprised me by demanding to elope, as he didn’t want to wait a year to get married—”

“Wait,” Catia pleaded, both hands up in a staying motion. “Wait, I don’t understand this. Have you decided to come out? Completely out?”

“Yes. Catia, I won’t live the rest of my life alone. I was just waiting until I found someone to make all of the headache worth it.”

“And you’re sure that it won’t damage your career?”

“It might. But if that’s part of the cost, then so be it. Tam’s well worth it.”

He could not have surprised her more. Completely flabbergasted, she croaked out, “This man must be amazing. I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Want to meet him now? He’s here, just in the next room.”

Catia’s hands rose to touch her face, her hair, her sweater, fussing with her appearance. “Of course you ask that when I have no makeup on and—oh, screw it, he’s family anyway. Yes, get him over here.”

Grinning—he loved his sister—he raised his voice a notch. “Tam?”

The bedroom door opened and Tam stepped through, a hopeful query on his face. Jakob gave him a nod, waving him closer. “She wants to meet you.”

With a light step, Tamjir came around the coffee table and sank down next to him, their sides brushing. Jakob put an arm around his waist just to keep it out of the way, taking in his sister’s reaction as Tam came into view. Her eyes narrowed in study but there was an approving smile curving the corners of her mouth up. “Catia, your new brother-in-law, Dr. Tamjir Rafikii.”

“Hello,” Tam said softly, tone warm. “It’s lovely to meet you, Catia.”

“Same here, Tamjir. Wow, I’m nearly speechless. I did not expect any of this. You must tell me how the two of you met.”

“I actually met him seven years ago. I was part of the refugee march that he safeguarded.”

“He was my translator,” Jakob pitched in. “We met again recently, through a mutual friend, and things just clicked.”

“Clicked well if you’re married after two months of dating. And don’t think my head’s not spinning from that. Shit, I just noticed—your ears. Jakob, you pierced your ears.”

“I married a Tandiiran, of course I pierced my ears,” he answered with a half-laugh.

“Oh man, oh man, oh man. I literally do not know what to ask first. Tamjir, your family, they accept this?”

“What are you saying, they’re over the moon! I’ve been commanded to bring him home within the month, and we’re to have another wedding reception then. I’m assured I’ll be hunted down and strangled if I don’t make this happen.” Tamjir shrugged, smile saying he didn’t take this threat too seriously. “My concern is not for myself or my family, but Jakob’s. Your family.”

“Our brother, Hese, will be fine with this. Relieved to see our brother finally settled down, anxious for him too. The problem will be our parents. Jakob, have you told them yet?”

Shaking his head, he explained, “I didn’t want to tell them without first telling you. And I want this weekend for me and Tam before buying trouble. I planned to tell them Monday.”

“Then I’ll drive in tomorrow. I’ll be there in the evening.”

Startled, Jakob demanded, “Are you sure?”

“You’ll need an ally in that room and someone to talk them down when they start wailing. I’m coming. In fact, tell Hese I’m coming. He might choose to join us.”
His heart gave a happy twinge at the idea that his big sister was once again coming to help fight his battles. “Catia. I love you.”

She grinned at him, the expression a trifle feral. “I love you too. And I’m glad you’re finally stepping forward and not letting their future reactions rule you. About time. Tamjir, I’ll meet you properly tomorrow, it seems. Tell me, what do you two want as a wedding present?”

“Your support is enough,” Tam answered honestly. “And truthfully, we have too many things as it is. We’re blending two households.”

“Ah. True, didn’t think of that. Alright, we’ll discuss that more when I arrive.”

“Catia, what about Vaina?”

“My husband, when he hears this, is going to get so much mileage out of it. He’ll be happy for you and ready to stick it to his in-laws. Of course he’ll demand to come with me. It’s fine, we’ll just take a few days off of work. I want to celebrate with you, too. I’ll leave the kids with their grandmother, she’ll take them for me.”
For this trip, as emotionally heady as it would be, it was likely best for her children to not be involved. They were too young—eight and six, respectively—to understand everything going on. “I agree. I’ll be sorry to miss seeing them, though.”

“Oh, I’ll make sure they do soon. They have a new uncle to meet, after all. Just not this trip. I need to hang up, I have plans to make and people to call. You call Hese, okay?”

“I will,” he promised. “See you tomorrow.”

The call ended and he sat there for a moment, staring at the waiting screen, feeling like his world had just been tilted on its axis and shaken a few times. She’d known…this entire time, she’d known and silently supported him, waiting for him to come out. He did not deserve his sister.

Tam kissed him on the cheek. “I think that went better than you feared.”

“Tons better.” Jakob kissed him back, quick and chaste on the mouth. “Alright. I’m feeling powered up now and ready to call my brother.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” Another kiss, and Tam retreated to the bedroom.

Appreciating that support more than anything, Jakob pulled up his brother’s contact, took in a deep breath, and pushed video call.
 
(((Time skip)))
 
Katri looked over her family, the dinner table full for once now that she had her children, son-in-law and husband all seated there. Jakob could tell from the glowing expression on his mother’s face that she was beyond happy to have them all in one room again.

It was a shame he’d burst her bubble soon.

“Well, everyone, pass the dishes around,” Katri encouraged them, motioning with her hands. “What is everyone waiting for?”

Of course no one moved but her husband and even Evan only reached for one plate before he paused, the atmosphere cluing him in that something was off.

Jakob caught Caiti’s look and nodded. He was braced for this. Perhaps not ready, but braced. “Äiti, before we do that, I have something to tell you.”

His mother clasped her hands hopefully. “Are you finally ready to introduce the girl you’ve been dating to us?”

“Well, yes, but there’s something you should know first. A few things, actually.” Come on heart, don’t fail now. He made himself look her in the eye as he said the words. “Äiti, I’m gay.”

She froze, her happy expression from before now looking subtly wrong as it stuck in place. “What?”

Caiti, bless her, stepped in. “You heard him. Jakob’s gay. He’s known he was gay since he was seventeen.”

Evan rounded on her. “You knew about this?!”

“I figured it out,” she admitted evenly, deliberately non-confrontational in tone and body language as she faced her father. “He didn’t say anything to me until this past Saturday.”

“We both basically knew for years.” Hese put a hand on Jakob’s shoulder in silent solidarity. “But we knew why he didn’t say anything, too.”

Their parents both looked shell-shocked in the worst sense. Jakob watched them with his heart in his throat, not sure if they’d even be able to wrap their heads around this tonight. It might take another round before he could get it through their heads.

“But,” his mother said desperately, grasping his hands and holding it tight enough to cut off circulation. “But you’re dating a woman. Your father said so.”

“At no point did I say it was a woman. I said I was dating a Tandiiran named Tam. He’s a man, a doctor.”

Her hand fell away, head shaking in tiny jerks as if she was denying every word from his mouth. “Why would you do that?”

“Because he’s attracted to men, Äiti.” Caiti shot Jakob a sympathetic look. “I know this is hard for you to swallow. I know its more than a shock. It’s alright if you need to sit and think about this for a while—”

“Why are your ears pierced?” Evan interrupted harshly. His eyes were focused on Jakob’s ears, on the small platinum earrings there.

Jakob hadn’t intended to tell them this tonight, but apparently his father knew more about Tandiiran culture than he’d expected. Drawing in another deep breath for courage, he answered bluntly. “Because in Tandirran culture, a man wears earrings if he’s married. I married Tam Friday.”

With a shove, Katri yanked away from the table and him, staring at him as if she’d never seen him before. “You married a man? Without telling me?!”

“He married Tam without telling any of us,” Hese observed blandly. “Don’t think we haven’t had words with him about it. But I think you’ll like Tamjir. He’s—”

“What part of my son being married to another man is something that I’ll like?!” Katri screamed at him.

Right. This was the reaction that he’d anticipated. Jakob hadn’t been sure about his siblings, and was thankfully proven wrong there, so it only made sense that he’d been right about something else instead. He wished, for once, he’d been wrong here too. Shaking his head, he stood. “I think we’re done. Let’s go back.”

Evan hopped up to his feet as well, both hands out in a staying motion. “Wait. Wait a minute, you think you can just walk in here, drop this kind of bombshell and then walk out again?! You sit and apologize to your mother!”

“The hell I will,” Jakob snarled, slamming both hands against the table. His temper snapped without warning and it brought him vicious satisfaction to see both of his parents jump. “I’ve been suppressing myself for years to make you two happy. When I finally work up the courage to tell you about me, you deny it vehemently. And when I tell you that I married a wonderful, sweet, amazing man you expect me to fucking apologize for it?! No. No, I will not. I eloped with Tam because I didn’t want to deal with any of your bigotry. I knew you wouldn’t accept it, and I wanted my day with him to be just that—a day with him. A joyous day with him. And it was. And I won’t apologize for that. Now, if you can pull your head out of your collective asses and apologize to me, maybe you’ll get to meet your new son-in-law.”

“Until then, I think this conversation is over,” Caiti observed coolly. “For the record, your children are in complete agreement about this. You’ll get no sympathetic ear or support for your asinine opinions from either Hese or I. Don’t bother to call and whine to us about it.”

Katri had tears spilling down her cheeks as she stared at Jakob. “I didn’t raise you to be like this. How can you do this to me?”

“How selfish are you,” Jakob retorted without heat, sadness encroaching on him, “that you think this has anything to do with you? My sexuality isn’t your doing. My love for my husband certainly isn’t your doing. The only thing that is your doing is my silence for the past sixteen years. Because I couldn’t trust you, I never confided in you.”

Evan was shaking, hands clenched in a white knuckled grip around the edge of the table. He couldn’t look up at Jakob as he rasped, “You should have said something.”

“Why?” Jakob retorted, bone weary with the argument. “So I could lose my parents faster?” Shaking his head, he turned on a heel and left the room, heading for outside. He just wanted to find Tam, burrow into his arms, and try to forget the past fifteen minutes.

Both of his parents called after him, demanding he get back in the room, but he ignored them. Hashing it out even further would do no good. It would just inflict further damage.

To his surprise, as soon as he was out of the house, he found a familiar car parked along the street. Tam was leaning against the side of it, arms crossed over his chest, clearly waiting. At his exit, Tam straightened, brows furrowed. “Did it go that badly?”

Jakob went straight to him, hauling him into a tight embrace, tucking his head into the crook of Tam’s neck. He breathed the man in, his heart still feeling mangled. Tam immediately folded him in, stroking his hand along Jakob’s spine in a soothing manner.

“JAKOB!” Katri called, voice high with panic.

He pulled back to see her hovering on her front stoop, staring at them with her hands clenched together. There was a plea on her face but also disgust as she stared at Tam. It was that more than anything that decided him.

“Tam, let’s go home,” Jakob requested softly.

Tam searched his face for a moment, finding whatever answer he needed to, and nodded. “Get in.”

(((Last Part I have written. There's no more after this.)))

 Jakob called his staff in to him, taking the small conference room off his office as their meeting place, sitting at the head as usual with his right hand carefully covering his left on the table’s surface. This might be the biggest surprise he’d ever spring on them, for better or worse.
​
They filed in, taking the various chairs, notebooks in hands because of course they were ready to jot down any orders he gave. When they settled, he swept their faces, trying to judge how each would respond. Darja would likely throw a party, Takala might struggle with it, Gar of course already knew, Vanhanen—who knew? Jarvi was the one that he expected the most trouble with.

Darja, at least, seemed to realize something was up. Her eyes kept going to his ears, her body going taut in her chair as she started putting the pieces together. He gave her a slight smile in approval—always so quick on this uptake, this woman—before facing everyone else. “This isn’t a working announcement. But I thought it only fair to tell you first. I got married on Friday.”

People froze for a moment, startled, then Gar burst out laughing. “You didn’t!”

“I did. I told you, the situation wasn’t quite what I’d imagined.” He really needed to follow up properly with Gar soon.

“Congratulations, sir,” Jarvi enthused. “She must be incredible to catch your attention. Do you have a picture to share? What’s her name?”

Facing him squarely, Jakob corrected gently, “His name. His name is Dr. Tamjir Rafikii.”

Jarvi froze, his smile falling off in degrees, jaw dropping.

Darja at least wasn’t the slightest bit surprised and punched the air in victory. “I knew it! But wow, sir, a doctor. How did you catch a doctor?”

“Here’s the fun part,” he told her, glad to focus on someone happy for him. “You actually know him too. Do you remember the teenager that acted as our translator while doing that insane border crossing?”

It took a second to click, then she spluttered, “He became a doctor? No wait, he was in medical school when he was forced to evacuate, wasn’t he? I suppose he’s had time to become a doctor. I didn’t think you two kept in contact.”

“We didn’t. We were reintroduced through a mutual acquaintance. We’ve been dating the past two months. I proposed Friday, and he insisted in eloping, as he didn’t want a year long engagement.” Jakob shrugged. “I didn’t either. Although everyone in the Quarter still threw us a wedding reception.”

“Hence your piercings,” Takala murmured thoughtfully. He exchanged a speaking look with Vanhanen, who still looked very closed off, before saying, “My own congratulations, sir. May I ask if you’ve changed your name?”

Jakob relaxed a notch. At least three of his staff were alright with this. He’d expected worse. “Thank you, Takala. And yes, it did. I took his name.”

“I’ll have your stationary swapped out and put in an alert to change everything in the system.”

“Thank you.”

“I haven’t actually seen a picture of him yet either,” Gar mentioned casually, coming around the table and pointing at his phone. “Pull one up for us.”

Amiable to this, he unlocked the phone and showed him his favorite picture, the one from the reception with them dancing together. Tam was smiling brightly at the camera, and Jakob was laughing, because of course his husband had said something inappropriate before the picture was snapped. Tam had not been able to behave most of that night.

“Wow,” Gar breathed, taking the phone from him. “Damn, you’re right, he’s gorgeous.”

“Let me see, let me see,” Darja demanded, making grabby hands. Gar passed the phone over and she let out a low whistle. “This is the same teenager? Are you sure? Damn, he grew up fine. Tell me he has a brother, sir.”

“He has three, two of them still single. All of them in Tandiir, unfortunately for you.”

Making a face, Darja moaned, “Always something. Here.” She passed the phone further along the table.

The other three politely took a look and a murmured compliment before passing the phone back to him. Time would tell if they could accept this and move on or if it would be come an issue. Either way, it was fine for today.

Jakob gave them a slight smile. “As I said, I just wanted to tell you today. I’ll inform people as I go. My parents I have not told yet, as I plan to do so in person this evening, so keep the secret for now. I’ll likely need to take several days off in the near future. Tam and I haven’t exactly decided who’s moving where, but odds are he’ll move in with me. I’ll of course help him move.”

“Just let us know, sir,” Gar said supportively. “I’ll help as well.”

“Thank you, Gar. We’ll need it. That man has entirely too many books. Alright, any questions?”

“Did you have time to set up a register anywhere, sir?” Darja inquired. “Anything you’d like as a wedding present?”

“Ah, we’re actually not sure if there’s anything we need at this stage,” Jakob admitted. “And no, we’re not registered anywhere. Your well wishes are enough, truly.”

Not satisfied by this, she asked, “Then perhaps let me do something helpful for your wedding present. You’ll need to announce this generally with people. How about I have some announcements cards printed up that you can mail to everyone?”

That was…entirely insightful and potentially quite helpful. “Darja, I do believe that’s genius. Please. I’ll email you exactly what the card should say.”

“Do it soon, I can get them printed up in the next few hours, then send them out this afternoon,” she instructed.

Dipping his head in acknowledgement, he said, “Okay. Anyone else? No? Then back to work.” He was not surprised when Gar refused to move, instead dropping into the vacated chair on his right side. When the conference door closed behind them, he asked in a low tone, “Your email didn’t say many particulars. He’s not an escort, he’s a doctor, that much I got. But how the hell did this happen?”

Sitting back, Jakob settled in. “Sit back, Gar. Let me tell you the story.”

+ 
 
With the cards in hand, Jakob knew that it was time to do something else he’d really rather not do. But it did need to be done. He took the card off the top and sent it directly to the President’s Office. It was rather self-explanatory so he didn’t think it needed anything like a note, but he included a post-it inside the envelope that simply read, “If you need to talk to me about this, Mr. President, I am available.”

Then he sent it off.

As nerve wracking as that was, he was prepared for the possibility that he’d really be asked to resign. Laws notwithstanding, politicians didn’t like to play by the rules, and it might be too much to be out and visible. Ambassador Jamaal was right on that. He had a resignation letter typed up and ready to go, just in case.
He spent time after lunch posting the cards to different people, with Darja’s capable help. Jakob had almost everyone covered when the red phone on his desk rang. Steeling himself, he picked it up and answered in his most professional voice. “Yes, Mr. President?”

“My office. Now.”

“Yes, sir.” At least the man didn’t sound outraged. Just shocked. There might be some hope yet.

Jakob said nothing to his staff as he quickly changed into changed into dress uniform, pocketed his printed resignation, and headed out. His office was some minutes away from the Presidential Palace. As he headed toward the waterfront, he carefully tried to keep his mind blank, as he didn’t want to overthink this. Whatever the outcome, he didn’t regret his decision.

The Finnish Presidential Palace was a sprawling, blocky complex that stood three stories tall. At one point it was stark white with a black roof but now it was yellow with white columns and accents around the windows. The gate in front of the main doors faced the water, with nothing but a wide walkway and street separating it from the water. Jakob didn’t use the front entrance, but instead drove around to the gated side entrance, slowing to flash his ID at the guard there, returning the salute as he was waved through.

There was valet parking for visiting officers and politicians. Jakob took advantage of it, tossing the valet his keys as he used a side entrance into the three story building. He went directly through the tiled entryway, past the visitor’s areas, and into the discreet elevator that led directly to the Presidential Office upstairs. Again he had to use his ID to clear the keypad security on the elevator before it would take him up to the third level.

Jakob blew out a breath as the metal doors closed. He really should have said something to Tam about things before announcing anything. But his husband was already torn up at just the possibility of him losing his career over their marriage and he hadn’t wanted to add even more stress onto his shoulders. There was still a chance that this wouldn’t blow up in his face. President Ranta himself was not a bigoted man. Jakob didn’t expect trouble with him on a personal level. He feared putting Ranta into a difficult position and forcing the President’s hand.

The door chimed as it opened and he stepped through, keeping his politician’s face on. It had never served him as well as it did in this moment.

The president’s secretary, Ms. Saari, looked up as he entered and waved him closer. She leaned over her desk in the wide hallway and whispered, “I saw the announcement. Congratulations. Before you leave, make sure you stop and show me a picture. I want to see who caught you.”

He really did like this woman. Jakob grinned at her and ducked his head. “I promise. How upset is he?”

“Floored, really, more than upset. Go on, I don’t think you’re in trouble.”

“Thanks.” Heartened, he stepped to the open door and gave a quick rap of his knuckles against the painted wood. “Mr. President?”

Ranta stopped pacing and turned. At sixty years old, he was more white than grey—likely from the daily stress he was under—but not soft. His lean body was practically vibrating as he waved the announcement in the air. “General Vanlandingham, get in here! You have to tell me what the hell is going on.”

That was the blunt man he knew. Part of the reason Jakob liked his president was that he always knew precisely where he stood with the man. Coming in, he stopped at the edge of the desk and settled into a semi-parade rest. Not intentionally, he just defaulted to it. “Well, sir, it goes like this. I’m gay. I met a wonderful man that I fell in love with. I married him on Friday. What more would you like to know?”

The president looked at him with wide blue eyes. “Vanlandingham, you do have balls. I give you that.”

“I realize not everyone’s going to be happy about this,” Jakob continued, going with the speech he’d already rehearsed in his head. He dipped into his inner breast pocket and drew out the folded resignation letter. “If you need me to resign—”

Ranta snatched the resignation letter out of his hand and promptly tore it in half before throwing it forcibly to the floor. “Don’t you fucking dare. First of all, you’re the only general I actually like. Second, the Tandiirans would have my head on a damn platter if I made you resign. They adore you. They like you better than they do me. And they’re going to be ecstatic that you married one of theirs. Do I look like I’m stupid? I’m not committing political suicide by accepting that.”

Jakob’s defensiveness dropped by half and he unbent enough to actually smile at the man. “Thank you, sir.”

“Don’t thank me yet. This is going to be challenging, you and I both know that. The conservatives are going to be chewing on their livers when they learn about this.” Ranta looked at both of Jakob’s ears and made a soft huh sound. “You really did just dive right in, didn’t you?”

Jakob didn’t know what else to say to that except, “Yes, sir.”

Rocking back on his heels, Ranta tapped a finger against his chin. “I want to meet him.”

Not expecting this, Jakob blinked in surprise. “You want to meet my husband?”

“Yes. There’s a bit of a possibility that I’ve been entertaining. I think if we handle this with the right spin, we can pull you out of the possible political quagmire you’ve jumped into. Tell me about him, what’s he like?”

“One of the most intelligent men you’ll ever meet,” Jakob answered even as he thought. What could Ranta possibly have up his sleeve this time? The man was famous for pulling rabbits out of hats. It could be anything. “He’s a doctor. He first worked as a translator when coming here, and his Finnish is impeccable. He’s utterly charming, too. Mr. President, just what—”

“Show me a picture.”

Clearly, he wasn’t going to get an immediate answer until he’d supplied all the facts. Mentally throwing his hands up, Jakob pulled out his phone and went to his favorite picture of Tam before handing it over.

Ranta took the phone and that calculating expression dominated his face again. “He’s good looking. Very photogenic. And a doctor? What kind?”

“General physician.”

“Perfect. This might work after all.” Ranta handed the phone back, grin not quite demented. “Now, to answer your question. The King of Tandiir formally requested some of our aid. They want to clear up the costal section along their southern border, get the docks there back in operation. They’ve been struggling to do it themselves for a while, but they don’t have the manpower to make it a quick fix. They requested that you head up a relief operation. But they always request that you head up something and come to Tandiir. I didn’t think much of that.”

Jakob filled in the rest without needing any creativity. “But you think that sending me, and my doctor husband, will be very good PR. And by doing it this way, you’re making it impossible for the conservatives to really get any traction when they do start squawking about this.”

Splaying his hands, Ranta got that spark of mischief in his eyes. “You see a flaw with my plan?”

He considered it and really, it was a good plan. “Let me talk to Tam about this first. I have no idea if he can afford to shut up his clinic and go with me. And this will take a few months, won’t it?”

“We’ll compensate him for his time,” Ranta promised hopefully.

That would make things easier. And knowing Tam, he’d be game for it. “I’ll ask him.”

“Now,” Ranta encouraged. “Call him now.”

He’d really prefer to not have this conversation over a phone…. Sighing, he nodded agreement and stepped out to the exterior balcony that faced the inner gardens of the palace, buying a few feet of privacy. Ranta called after him, “Invite him to breakfast tomorrow!”

“Yes, sir!” Jakob called back. Only then did he fish out his phone and tried to facetime Tam.

It rang a few times before the call was accepted, the screen a blur of colors as Tam lifted it. A smile was on his face but it dragged at the corners, weighted down by worry. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Hey,” Jakob returned softly. “I’m calling with good news, I promise.”

“Phew, I’m relieved to hear it. What’s the good news?”

“Well, I’ll give you all the details of my staff’s reactions tonight—it was mostly positive—but most importantly, I just told President Ranta. And he’s surprised but supportive.”

“That’s great, Jakob!”

“Yeah,” Jakob agreed wholeheartedly. “But he’s got two questions for you.”

Tam blinked at him, head jerking back in surprise. “For me? I can’t imagine what he’d ask of me.”

“Well, he’s got a plan on how to politically spin our marriage so my career doesn’t get axed. I think it’ll work. Your king has formally requested aid from Finland to get the southern coast cleared up and the docks back up and running. There’s apparently a section down there that’s still war ravaged.”

“Two, in fact,” Tam answered thoughtfully. “Silisia and Fortuna.”

“How in the world do you know about that?”

“My mother’s from Fortuna. I went to college initially in Silisia and still have friends down there. They keep me abreast of things.”

Was there anywhere that his husband didn’t have friends or relatives? “Ah. I’m not sure which we’re going to, but they want a corps of engineers to come down and rebuild. President Ranta’s requested I go down and head the operation. He also wants you to go with me.”

Tam’s expression turned shrewd and not disapproving. “A public coming out mixed in with humanitarian work? Oh, he is conniving. I see why you think it will work.”

“It’ll mean months down there, but he said he can compensate you for the time,” Jakob warned.

“Hmm, yes, having the clinic down for a while will be problematic. But I think I can call upon a few doctor friends to cover it at least a few days out of the week so its not shut down completely. I’m the only walk-in clinic in the Quarter after all. Let me worry about the logistics of that.”

Jakob blinked at him. “You’ll go? You can think about it, you know.”

Tam immediately shook his head in denial. “No, if this will help you, its an easy sacrifice to make. Besides, I haven’t been back in Tandiir in years. I wouldn’t mind going home for a while. And we can maybe squeeze in a weekend and see my family. They’re dying to meet you.”

“You’re sure?” Jakob felt like he was strong-arming Tam into this and the guilt sat uneasily on his stomach.

“Quite sure. Don’t look like that, Jakob. As I said, it’s just a logistical challenge for me. I don’t mind going.”

He had to take him at his word. Jakob couldn’t read him well enough to see if he was putting up a strong front or not. “Alright. In that case, President Ranta wants to have breakfast with both of us tomorrow. He wants to meet you and probably talk about the particulars.”

Tam did another double take. “I get to meet the President of Finland? Jakob! You could have mentioned that first!”

“You married a Brigadier General,” Jakob pointed out wryly. “You’re going to meet all of the politicians eventually. I guarantee it.”

Realization hit and Tam’s eyes grew impossibly wide in his face. “Holy shit.”

“That just sank in, didn’t it?”

“Holy fucking shit.”

In a spurt of mischief, Jakob screenshotted that expression. It was truly a kodak moment and he couldn’t resist. It might be his wallpaper for a while. “He’s waiting on an answer, so I need to go, but I’ll get an exact time for tomorrow, alright?”

“It’s a good thing you’re cute. Fine, I’ll get my suit ready for tomorrow. Love you, bye.”

“Bye, love.” Jakob felt his cheeks heat a touch saying that. It still made him happy and a little embarrassed saying those words out loud. Turning, he pocketed the phone and reported to his president, “He’s agreed to both, sir.”

“Excellent.”